FH5, Series 29, Week 2

Another week of annoyances and irritations from PR stunts that seem to require a specific car built in a specific way (probably too much engine and too little handling because that’s so much fun) to the wrong cars in the wrong sorts of races to cheating drivatars in the HW seasonal.

Like last week, the weekly challenge was doable without upgrading the car. Like last week you either have the money or the FPs (or both) to acquire the Type C Jag or you don’t and may struggle because you’d have to do 20 HA’s to get 1,200 FPs, and if your connectivity is rubbish (fortunately, because mine was good today, I was able to do the daily), you might have no chance at all.

The photo challenge got me a stupid phrase. What am I? A dim-witted 12-year-old?

Eventlab (1). Baja Motorsports Park GP 3L. Overly technical, but at least the cars were only A800. This is the sort of circuit which might attract S2-class cars. Turn the Stupidity dial to maximum, Doris!

Eventlab (2). Kiyosumi Circuit. Off to Eventlab Island, which is like going to the other two expansions – a tedious nuisance. The circuit is all right even though it’s that awful pseudo-tarmac. B-class cars of some sort for an emote. “Prizes for morons! Prizes for morons!” announced the town crier.

Eventlab (3). Neon Slopes Circuit. A800 super saloons. The 2016 BMW M2 got to have another outing. Not a bad circuit, but not at night, and get rid of those ridiculous neon lights. The SWS was one-third excellent.

The collectibles were easy enough to get, and unless you’re a masochist, there’s no need to go after the ones perched on rocks.

The danger sign was a sodding nuisance. It seems that you either hurled the car off the plane to carry it over the impedimenta lining the runway, or get the car to rotate to the right. The latter ended up being my solution. The SWS was one-third excellent. The speed trap was also a massive nuisance. Again, it seems there’s probably a correct car to use and then there’s all the rest. I lighted on the Gunther Werks Porsche which with min. aero, I managed to get through the final two corners with sufficient speed to complete this. SWS? Absolute rubbish. The speed zone was less irritating and the SWS one-third good.

And then it was on to the seasonals. Muddy Madness was dirt racing in A800 unlimited off-roaders. Wait, what?! I went for the Hummer EV as usual because this seems to be the promo car to use. I then bumped into every bloody wall in the game. Got a Ford RS200, but I think I may have two already. This was farcical.

I opted for the CJ5 Renegade in a second dirt seasonal, By Jeeps and Bounds. The drivatars all opted for the 2014 Cherokee. Why? The reward was a 2013 Audi RS7. Fine, it’s all right, but another ageing car? Could be worse – it might be an ageing American barge.

For the Trial I went with the International Scout. Again, more dirt racing in inappropriate vehicles. I thought about the Ford Bronco, but the Scout had a better PWR even though it felt like a slug. I was 2nd round El Pípila with a team win, but some humans fell behind. I was 3rd in San Juan, but my advancement was killed off when the driver who ended up in second, bounced off a wall, which pushed him sideways in front of me. I managed to recover and got another 2015 Cayman GTS. Nice, but not needed.

I used the Porsche Speedster for the HW PR stunt because it had the power. Actually, even with 731hp going through the rear wheels, the car was controllable.

Icebreaker was a hurl-your-device-through-the-window seasonal. B700 Subaru. Sounded all right on paper. I started with the 2015 WRX STi, but there was a cheating drivatar in an STi S209. That car doesn’t offer much scope for upgrading, but I tried it anyway, and still the drivatar was cheating. I switched to the 22B and was even thinking of using a stock 2004 Impreza to prevent the drivatars from using the S209 (because it has a higher stock PI). Another Penhall Cholla. Possibly my third one. Some people hate these things, but I like this and the Alumi Craft for cross-country racing.

I did the Sierra Nueva PR stunt in awful weather in the Lotus with overinflated tyres. Two-thirds good SWS.

I picked the Mazda 323 for All Rallied Up (C600 retro rally). Mostly good racing, but getting to the front often required hurling myself through the margins of corners. The prize was an antique Nissan GT-R. How nice. I’ll donate it to a museum. Oh, and get rid of that fecking annoying cowbell sound.

Three Eventlab races and four seasonals is, I feel, overlarding the racing pudding. (Is that a mixed metaphor? Do puddings have lard in their recipes?) The return of the original PR stunts with their annoying restrictions is also vexatious. Like Horizon 4, it should be a matter of setting the PR stunt and leaving it to us to decide which car to use. In FH5 I suspect that there’s always a specific car so that you can’t just use any S1-class modern sports car, but should use the one with the most engine. Also, the theoretical maximum speed needs to considerably exceed the target speed. Once I’d reduced the aero on the GW 911 Carrera, the car was then fast enough to do the job.

And at the end of it all, we got a couple more recycled cars from FH4. At the end of it all, I predict another week of dailies and little else.