Occasional Tales

The Trial? Perhaps. I started with the treasure hunt for the usual reason – you never know when the game might go mental because you left this till last. You had to drive your Alfa Romeo Quadrifoglio to the cloverleaf junction on the motorway. Easy money – or so you might think. When I smashed the treasure chest, my car got stuck to the remains, and I struggled to extricate myself. Much wheel spin and reversing and then much wheel spin and going forwards. I also triggered the weekly by driving the Alfa Romeo Quadrifoglio. Not too tedious, but a drag race? Is this a taster for the next series, which is rumoured to be drag racing. I would say, “Please don’t”, but I fear that tomorrow we’re going to be disappointed by the horrible truth. The Eventlab tiles were functioning again. It’s a pity the brains of the creators weren’t. The first one looked like a figure-8 track, but was an hourglass with a very pinched waist. The other event ended in this baffling spaghetti-like mess which I had t...

So, it seems that for the treasure hunt I have to drive the Maserati GT S from Mulegé to Guanajuato. A few minutes later… That didn’t work. Perhaps I should’ve used the FE Maserati GT S because that’s in the picture. A few minutes later… That didn’t work. House-to-house? A few minutes later… That didn’t work. Perhaps it might work after I reboot my laptop. The next day… What?! Why aren’t you bloody well working?! [Interlude.] I decide to give it one more go, but this time veer off the motorway and head cross country towards Guanajuato, slamming into the houses on the south side of the town. Job done. FFS. Since the update, the chance that I’m actually online in free roam and seeing other players has improved. It won’t last, but it meant I could do an HA to tick that off the playlist. The weekly was in the Abarth 595. I think the game told me that one event was complete, and the rest of the time I had to check. The Eventlab tiles were working. I started with Forest Mountain Circuit , wh...

Finally an update which deserves the accolade. We finally have an update that will be difficult to dethrone as the Best Evah™ along with DLC which can also be accorded the same honour. We knew what was coming and we’re not being disappointed. All right, the cars are all recycled from FH4. The Lancia Fulvia is missing (shame) and the Alfa Romeo Stelvio (don’t care). I thought the Abarth 124 might be omitted because it’s merely a Mazda MX-5, and I feared the Biposto 695 might be replaced with the Abarth EV that Tim “Shmee150” Burton recently added to his garage. This update deserves praise because it has five decent cars for every shrug. As for the DLC, which is about £8, it’s worth it almost all the way. The previous DLC was one good car (the Emira), one sexy car (the Huayra R), and two that you were stuck with to get what you wanted. I’m guessing that some of the Lamborghinis have been imported from Forza Motorsport as promo for that game. I don’t know why the Italdesign Da Vinci Conc...

The content of Series 23 has been revealed, but immediately overshadowed by the news that Abarth, Alfa Romeo, Fiat and Lancia will be returning to the game in Series 24. Although Series 23 may be called Summer Party, it really ought to be called the American Automotive Update (which as we now know sometime later, is series 27) since all we’re getting is a bunch of American muscle cars, the McLaren 765LT, and an SF90. This will be the third time the last of these has been a reward and yet there’s still no sign of the F8 Tributo making a second appearance in the game. The Deberti Mustang returns, although I can already hear a chorus of complaints about yet another Mustang. I like this particular car, but I could do without the other fat old American bangers that are about as redolent of summer as Christmas decorations. Of course, cue the usual hysterical sorts who think American muscle cars are the greatest ever etc. I assume the YouTubers will all claim this is the greatest update ever ...