Occasional Tales

Treasure hunt. Five jumps in the Austin-Healey Sprite. I thought the land between Mulegé and the main Festival site would make it easy, but the car seemed determined to stick to the ground. The treasure is in that open cave in the south-east of Ek’ Balam. The weekly. The FD Corvette. I did a bit of fiddling with the tuning, which seemed to help, and had no problems completing the various tasks. Four Rivals events, three of them in EVs that I otherwise never ever drive. It was nice to drive the Lynk & Co. 02 with its gears. I one-shotted Cara Este by a decent margin and got a third FD Nissan. I did the same to Polytunnels (one-third good SWS) and Camino del Montaña , but in the latter, I just managed to hit the target at the end of the DZ. Got a Ferrari Dino out of the SWS, which I gave away. Took a photo, and did a drift HA. Eventlab (1) was Don Joe Won Song’s Utopia Gardens Recension is a very artistic piece of work, but clearly aimed at the more stunt-driving end of the market....

Treasure hunt. Picture of off-roader in Teotihuacán. Treasure in stadium again. Thank the gods I’ll never have to do that again. Meanwhile, in Horizon 6 … The weekly. The Jaguar E-Type. For bonus irony points, I drove the one with the Lunar New Year livery. I have three with this paint job because not long after we did that series, less enlightened people seemed desperate to get rid of them. The ST was no problem in the GTC4 Lusso for an SWS that was one-third good and one-third very good. And then we come to that sodding SZ. It was a case of bashing away at it in the Ferrari Enzo until – as on every other occasion – the Forza gods smiled with malign benevolence and gave my car a nudge to just pass the required speed. The tank detective is on the hotel balcony off to the right of the jump. I knew it was somewhere around there, but I ended up one level down. Made no difference when I took the piccie. The HW PR stunt was another nuisance thing, where I’d appreciate it if either a.) any A...

Treasure hunt. Five jumps anywhere in the Datsun 510. Again, the treasure was in the stadium, but not too difficult to track down. The weekly. 1971 Plymouth Cuda. What, game, is a Hard Charger skill? I’ve had many down the years, but couldn’t define one even if I was the OED’s chief lexicographer. Had to six-star an ST or two. For the Street Scene race, I went to my usual go-to – Jungle Descent , but as this is the season of fog, I switched to Granjas de Tapalpa . Eventlab (1). Circuit des Reines . Good layout, cartoony props, terrible road surface. It’s easy to get beached on the kerbs, but it’d be nice if this could be done properly in the game as a proper motorsport track. Rubbish SWS. Eventlab (2). Close and Technical . Marks on for props. Marks off for night, rain, glare from the lights, and silly layout. One-third excellent SWS. I just managed to one-shot the DS for a one-third good SWS. The ST took several attempts, but required the right car (2015 Corvette Z06) and a bit longer...

Treasure hunt. Six stars in SZs in an EV. I went with one of Audis and had it done in two. The treasure was in the stadium maze, but not difficult to find. Ah, yes, that bloody stadium maze again. I now have over 150,000 FPs, but I spent some on a second 300 SL. The weekly. In the Peel Trident. Absolute clown car. “Upgrade the car to B class or higher,” it says when your only choice with the motorbike engine seems to be A class. I eventually managed to complete an SZ to the tune of three stars, but the car has bugger all handling. I preferred the drag race because at least that’s in a straight line. I suppose this will be another series in which we have to drive the Isetta, probably the Reliant Robin, and finally the Peel P50. What a ghastly menagerie. For the PR stunts I used the Mitsubishi Montero. I had to redo the DS because as usual, it was a case of the car going in the right direction by a few tenths of 1°. The SWS was rubbish apart from an Opel Manta, which I sold because I don...

Now with added Eventlab. This week’s treasure hunt – TB in a Polestar – worked properly. The treasure was over in Ek’ Balam. The weekly in the Audi TT RS posed no problems. I ought to have used the right car for the SZ PR stunt, but you had to do an S1-class race and I couldn’t be bothered faffing round with switching between cars. I went back to the SZ in the right sort of car and one-shotted it for a one-third very good SWS. The DS took a couple of attempts because I needed a slightly longer run-up. SWS was one-third good. I also one-shotted the ST for another one-third good SWS. I did the drift HA and even one-shotted the DZ at the end, which is a first for me, I think. Four Rivals races this week. a.) Bola Ocho in the Fiesta was all right, albeit in the wet. b.) The Camry in Gran Pantano was all right, but the car needs proper building and tuning. c.) El Pípila in the Durango was a reminder of what a bloated, pointless barge it is. I think the only times I’ve driven thi...

Treasure hunt. Drive along the motorway. Do the speed zone? Or just drive through the cloverleaf junction? Who knows. I completed the task and found that I just about had 127,000 FPs. The weekly in the 2012 MB SLK AMG was unproblematic. I even managed to drift the car for the skill points in spite of it being RWD. Normally, I end up spinning out sooner or later in such cars. Only one Rivals event this month round Mulegé in the Porsche 911 GT3, a car which is all right stock. As I hurtled towards the DS in the MB AMG 45, I sensed that the car needed max. engine to complete the task. My instincts were right, and I had to rebuild the car. One-third good SWS. I wasn’t surprised when it took me three attempts to do the SZ in the 2015 Audi TT before crashing into a rock before the irony of the SWS, which included a 2010 Audi  TT RS. It also took three attempts to complete the DZ in the BMW 325i for which I got a two-thirds excellent SWS. Only one Eventlab this week. Shipyard Autocross B...

Treasure hunt. Trade paint in the VW Beetle, win a wonderful prize. Spend your winnings on, er… I did something different with the weekly challenge. First, I didn’t get the all-too-similar Challenger and Charger mixed up. Second, I did all the tasks in the stock car, which I wrapped in a wood vinyl since I never see anyone using them. I managed to one-shot the TB in the Rimac Concept 2, but suspected correctly that its phenomenal acceleration would compensate for any suboptimal driving. Rubbish SWS. Screw you, game. Took me a couple of goes to do the DZ. I was a little surprised because I thought my first attempt went quite well, whereas my second one had its moments of incompetence. A one-third very good SWS. I used the same car, the Hoonigan Mustang, for the DS and then swapped to the Jesko. PB’ed it, and an SWS that was one-third good and one-third very good. I dealt with the HA after that, fast travelling straight into the event. I discovered last night that I’d never driven the 20...

I drifted down Costa Este for the treasure hunt and still managed over 800,000 points in spite of my lack of practise. I can’t even recall what the treasure was, but suspect that 100,000FPs are not far away. Nothing much to report about the weekly. I did Marigold for the race, my usual speed zone, and easily hit the speed target. I one-shotted the DS for a two-thirds good SWS. I PB’ed the ST on the bridge outside Mulegé for another two-thirds good SWS. Took me a couple of attempts to do the SZ because I was too tentative on my first try. The SWS was one-third good. Eventlab (1). Parametric . Props – full marks. Road surface – pah! Track layout – fine. Choice of cars – inappropriate. Nighttime – all marks deducted for annoying me. Eventlab (2). Miami Vice Riverside Drive . I went with the Ferrari Challenge Stradale for this one. Props were all right, the layout was fine (but say it in an ironic tone of voice). Nighttime – sodding irritating again. The SWS was one-third good. The Trial...