Occasional Tales

Treasure hunt. Picture of off-roader in Teotihuacán. Treasure in stadium again. Thank the gods I’ll never have to do that again. Meanwhile, in Horizon 6 … The weekly. The Jaguar E-Type. For bonus irony points, I drove the one with the Lunar New Year livery. I have three with this paint job because not long after we did that series, less enlightened people seemed desperate to get rid of them. The ST was no problem in the GTC4 Lusso for an SWS that was one-third good and one-third very good. And then we come to that sodding SZ. It was a case of bashing away at it in the Ferrari Enzo until – as on every other occasion – the Forza gods smiled with malign benevolence and gave my car a nudge to just pass the required speed. The tank detective is on the hotel balcony off to the right of the jump. I knew it was somewhere around there, but I ended up one level down. Made no difference when I took the piccie. The HW PR stunt was another nuisance thing, where I’d appreciate it if either a.) any A...

I’m just repeating what I’ve seen via various sources. Feel free to say, “You have nothing new to say, you dribbling git.” Release date confirmed. All right, I’ve bought it. The whole thing. Well, best to do it while I’m feeling rich. Well, not too indigent. The price is exactly what I predicted it’d be, although I feel that I ought to get a discount for buying all the Horizon 5 dlc. In due course, watch me be unimpressed by the expansions. Progression will mean something to the old lags who were around back in the day. I was never there, but I was an old lag anyway. Players will start the game as a tourist (shades of FH5 difficulty settings) and need to qualify to enter the Festival. Wristbands, which sort of made a vague appearance in FH4 if I remember correctly, are back. We’ll need to do some showcase to complete a tier to go up to the next wristband, with gold wristband granting access to Legend Island, where there’s meant to be a bunch of stuff to do. The question is how grindy w...

Treasure hunt. Spend CR30,000 on a Lancer Evo. Drive round the stadium maze to get your reward. I don’t know how many FPs I have this week. Last week it was 152,000 or so. The weekly. The Isetta. I had to do an engine swap for this, but left it RWD. It wasn’t as awful as I feared. I repainted it in two-tone red and satin bronze. Rather fetching. I have a note that I took a photo. Oh, that’s right. The detective statuette at the airfield, which is over the far side (south) on one of the half fuselages of the planes. I did the SZ in the Ford Ranger T6 with a decent run-up. It held its speed well for a one-third very good SWS. The DZ ended up being easy money in the Escort RS 1800. I pumped up the tyres and slid around like I knew what I was doing. One-third good SWS and the Valhalla Concept, which I gave away. Did the recipient thank me? No. Rude bastard. Drive round the stadium maze aimlessly. Crash into the tank detectives. Complete a task. What a satisfying life I lead. Eventlab. Mini...

Treasure hunt. Five jumps anywhere in the Datsun 510. Again, the treasure was in the stadium, but not too difficult to track down. The weekly. 1971 Plymouth Cuda. What, game, is a Hard Charger skill? I’ve had many down the years, but couldn’t define one even if I was the OED’s chief lexicographer. Had to six-star an ST or two. For the Street Scene race, I went to my usual go-to – Jungle Descent , but as this is the season of fog, I switched to Granjas de Tapalpa . Eventlab (1). Circuit des Reines . Good layout, cartoony props, terrible road surface. It’s easy to get beached on the kerbs, but it’d be nice if this could be done properly in the game as a proper motorsport track. Rubbish SWS. Eventlab (2). Close and Technical . Marks on for props. Marks off for night, rain, glare from the lights, and silly layout. One-third excellent SWS. I just managed to one-shot the DS for a one-third good SWS. The ST took several attempts, but required the right car (2015 Corvette Z06) and a bit longer...

Treasure hunt. Six stars in SZs in an EV. I went with one of Audis and had it done in two. The treasure was in the stadium maze, but not difficult to find. Ah, yes, that bloody stadium maze again. I now have over 150,000 FPs, but I spent some on a second 300 SL. The weekly. In the Peel Trident. Absolute clown car. “Upgrade the car to B class or higher,” it says when your only choice with the motorbike engine seems to be A class. I eventually managed to complete an SZ to the tune of three stars, but the car has bugger all handling. I preferred the drag race because at least that’s in a straight line. I suppose this will be another series in which we have to drive the Isetta, probably the Reliant Robin, and finally the Peel P50. What a ghastly menagerie. For the PR stunts I used the Mitsubishi Montero. I had to redo the DS because as usual, it was a case of the car going in the right direction by a few tenths of 1°. The SWS was rubbish apart from an Opel Manta, which I sold because I don...

Turn on, tune in, drop out. PGG has been posting share codes for tunes for new cars via in-game messages. Not quite sure why they’ve been doing this since while it’s possible to reconstruct how a car was upgraded, it’s not possible to see the precise tuning settings (i.e., as an aid for players wondering about such settings). At least I don’t think it is. This state of affairs has had the Chief Try-Hard (CTH) on the forums fulminating about how there are better tuners, whose work should be promoted etc. By and large I’ve never bothered with other people’s tunes. I do my own, which I’d describe as cosy – a pleasant driving experience so long as you aren’t being a Horizon Open try-hard yourself. However, I thought I’d try the tune being promoted for the AMC Rebel, expecting that I was probably going to say to myself, “I wish I could build and tune like that.” Sometimes I’m wrong. I installed the tune on the new Rebel and took it for a spin round the Horizon Mexico Circuit . I have to con...