FH5, Series 56, Week 3

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As ever we start with the… Oh, not this week. Instead, the weekly in the Hoonitruck because the Lunar New Year is all about American vehicles. Turns out I have somehow acquired four of them. The drift tap was as random as ever as I drifted incompetently through Mulegé knowing that I’d eventually achieve this feat. The race up the Volcán Sprint seemed sadistic.

I used the i30N for the PR stunts, but realised that the car needed to be all engine and not much else. Cascadas. Tree! Do it again. Not enough power. Add more engine (and don’t hit the tree). Rubbish SWS. I one-shotted the other two DSs and got a one-third very good SWS and a one-third excellent one.

Photo. Won a stupid prize. How satisfying my life’s achievements are.

EventLab (1). Arcadia Recension. Great visuals. Needs more practice. Rubbish SWS.

Eventlab (2). Hilltop Scramble. A descent circuit with good use of props. I hear that in FH6 we’ll be able to place starting points anywhere, which is a good thing. I used to look at the FH4 map and pick out (longer) circuits with my eye, but there was no way to create them.

Eventlab (3). Otoribashi. Marks on for good use of props, but marks off for the terrible time of day. Perhaps better after practice, but I kept thumping into the wall on the final corner and wondering why the track wasn’t sweeping round in a gentler curve.

I wasn’t sure which Hoonigan would be appropriate for the HW PR stunt. I ended up in the RWB Porsche and gave away the Huracán Performante I got from the SWS. Watch some ungrateful swine not thank me for it.

I managed to one-shot the RA PR stunt, but just in one of the Hoonigan Escorts (S1 837). I felt that a lower-specced car would be sufficient. In spite of that tactical insight, I got a rubbish SWS. Thanks, game, you anti-intellectual bastard.

I combined the collectibles with the daily and got hot babes in bikinis. [No you didn’t. –ed.]

I quit my first attempt at the Trial because of inexperienced players in cars they couldn’t really control, and we were heading for a third race. My choice was the 1965 Mustang, which wasn’t as fast as the 1971 model, but better suited to the occasion. Irony moment, though. I got a Datsun 510 from one of the SWSs, but decided to sell it. I then got another one from a wheel spin when I went up a level, but couldn’t dispose of it. I like the car well enough, but already have two.

On my second attempt at the Trial, I started in 3rd and came 1st because the 10✰ player understeered round one of the later corners in La Selva and flipped his car. He should’ve won. I was 5th on the grid for Tulum and managed to come 3rd after watching some rather pestiferous player, who should’ve recognised his lack of competence, rolled his car. This time the 10✰ should’ve won, but, I believe, got rammed into the wall on the final turn by a 1✰ Chinese player. Team win. My third drifty Mustang.

FH6

All right, show us some pictures of winter. Fine. Whatever. Is this going to be like winter in FH4 during which Britain is improbably entirely covered in snow, or is Japan going to be more nuanced with snow in the north and none in the south? Really, winter in FH4 should’ve been all dirt and off-road races, and events, and the cars to match the season.

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