Occasional Tales

Ten wreckage skills in a GT car. I won treasure (alongside the Street Scene outpost) that I don’t need, being a few hundred FPs short of 125K of them. The mural for the photo is just south of the start of Cruce de Valle on the wall of the house. I knew it was round there somewhere from the previous occasion. The weekly in the Lexus RC F was mostly unremarkable. Bad launch in the street scene race in which I didn’t take the lead until the last couple of turns. PR stunts. The DS was tricky because I ended up with too much speed or angle. Rubbish SWS. The TB was vexatious because I know what to do, but haven’t done it in some time. Another rubbish SWS. I one-shotted the ST for more bloody rubbish. Eventlab (1). Mulegé Street Circuit . A variation on the usual circuit which – I probably said this last time – needs practice. Rubbish SWS. Eventlab (2). Aeroplane Graveyard Circuit . Really rally monsters round a cross country circuit. Not well constructed, with the first turn being about 5m ...

 Do a DS in the Caterham, they said, implying that you have to jump 500m. Perhaps I only needed to do a DS in the Caterham. I now have over 120,000 FPs. No issues with the weekly in the 1987 Pontiac Firebird. In an aside, there seems to be an epidemic of idiot players stopping in the middle of the road to block the AI traffic. That used to be an occasional thing in FH4, but I’ve barely ever seen it in FH5. It’s annoying. Stop doing it, you complete plonkers. I one-shotted the DZ and DS, and took a couple of goes to complete the TB (lack of practice, but I just don’t… What is it, Jenkins? … We’ll talk about Japan later . …ever do these things unless I’m required to). And how was I rewarded? Rubbish, rubbish, and more bloody rubbish. I took a photo of the Datsun in the stadium. I won a pair of lacy knickers. Now I’ll be the sexiest boy in Mexico. [ You silly, deluded old git . –ed.] Eventlab (1). Edel Circuit . DUBS’ favourite custom-built circuit. Pity it has to use that horrid road...

 The weekly was in the 2013 Shelby GT 500. I may have retuned one of the cars, but I’m sure the S2-class car was just there to do zoomies. Take the photo where the danger sign over the river is. Went to Playa Azul to check out the hot babes… [ I don’t think you’re allowed to say “hot babes” on the Internet these days . –ed.] I mean, crash into ice creams. I think the game miscounted again, and doesn’t always appear to register events done in quick succession. I did quite a bit of rewinding to complete the TB in my Hoonigan RS200. I know what to do, but as I don’t bother with such things, it’s always trial and error. The SWS was one-third very good. I knew the SZ would be a pain and it was a pain. Again, I know there’s a technique (which is drifting round the U-shaped section). The SWS was one-third good; the wheel spin afterwards when I went up a level was better. (Cries of “Shame!”) I PB’ed the ST on the bridge for a one-third good SWS. Eventlab (1). Sherwood Forest Raceway . This...

Treasure hunt. Trade paint in the VW Beetle, win a wonderful prize. Spend your winnings on, er… I did something different with the weekly challenge. First, I didn’t get the all-too-similar Challenger and Charger mixed up. Second, I did all the tasks in the stock car, which I wrapped in a wood vinyl since I never see anyone using them. I managed to one-shot the TB in the Rimac Concept 2, but suspected correctly that its phenomenal acceleration would compensate for any suboptimal driving. Rubbish SWS. Screw you, game. Took me a couple of goes to do the DZ. I was a little surprised because I thought my first attempt went quite well, whereas my second one had its moments of incompetence. A one-third very good SWS. I used the same car, the Hoonigan Mustang, for the DS and then swapped to the Jesko. PB’ed it, and an SWS that was one-third good and one-third very good. I dealt with the HA after that, fast travelling straight into the event. I discovered last night that I’d never driven the 20...