Occasional Tales

Treasure hunt. Win a race in a track toy. Go to the balcony below the hotel jump. Well, I say “go”, but I flopped in an undignified fashion to get the treasure. I was dreading the weekly in the Ariel Nomad because of the loathsome Hide-and-Seek task at the end of it, but a visit to the forums revealed that the final task never happened, which turned out to be true. When I did the speed zone task, I actually PB’ed one of them. I used the pair not far from the Horizon Tour start area. In spite of failing the Mulegé jump, I actually got credited for the 100m jump. I was going to go drifting for the HA task, but the game has been disconnecting me and only managed to get this done later. Again, my drifting skills, which were never great to begin with, were fairly sus. No sign of wreckage skills as an option. I one-shotted the danger sign and got a one-third very good SWS. Took me a couple of attempts to get the speed zone for a rubbish SWS. I managed to one-shot the trailblazer, although mu...

Treasure hunt. Go to the top of the volcano in an Exocet, they said. Treasure not far away from the nearby telescope. Money in the bank that’ll almost never get spent. I’d already done some practice in the Hoonigan Escort RS 1800 for the weekly challenge. I went with AWD because I felt the car was a bit floaty RWD. I did the drift skills without even trying. I managed to do the speed traps in two somehow. I one-shotted East Resort in the Ferrari F40 Competizione and got an SWS that was one-third good and one-third very good. Green Hills took a few attempts to complete, but I managed it with the tight turn at the end. Rubbish SWS. Trailblazer. One-shotted. Rubbish SWS. Eventlab (1), Ranchero Norte , employed that terrible fake tarmac that cannot be smoothly pieced together. Not a bad basic circuit, but the whole setting felt like it needed more work. I really shouldn’t have bothered because I already have two Hoonigan Escorts. Eventlab (2), The Gulch of Monument Valley . It sounds lik...

Treasure hunt. Near-miss skills on motorway. 300FPs to add to my expanding pile of them. The weekly in the Ultima Evo was a nuisance to begin with because I fiddled about building the car first and then found that you had to spend money on it. I did an engine swap and immediately swapped it back. The drag race was awful, with the car shifting sideways by two lanes during the course of the race. HA. Drifting, which revealed how out of practice I am. I seem to have done most of the work while some other player scrounged off me. I one-shotted all the PR stunts this week and PB’ed the Stadium speed trap. Was variably rewarded as usual. Eventlab (1). El Toro Scramble . This was really just a version of El Pípila . Not a fan of the obstacle course section which is why, I suppose, it was a solo effort. There was one section where it would be easy to sail off to the right instead of keeping left. This is where there needed to be props to block the way, but the decorative elements were mostly j...

With the return of the academic year I’m probably not going to be posting entries till sometime on Saturdays. I have a fair amount of time on Friday between lunchtime and my return to school to get much of the Festival playlist done, but I also have P1 and P10 classes and on some occasions, am likely to prefer a nap. The treasure hunt, as I discovered, wanted you to add a new part to your Ford Focus. I tried adding a part I’d already bought, but the game was having none of it. But in reality, I assume that this was another attempt to force players to use the Test Track which, I feel, has nothing practical to offer. I ended up doing a wreckage HA because there was one near the location of the treasure chest. The weekly was in the Alfa Romeo Giulia. Job done, but drag racing and drifting? The Audi S1 had no problems with the speed zones. I switched to the 2012 Mini JCW for the Trailblazer because in testing it had no problems hitting the target time and then some. What happened? I kept ...

Treasure hunt. Has to be done in the Polestar. Trailblazer off the motorway. Job done. I used the weekly challenge in the 2010 Audi TT RS to do the Switchbacks PR stunt (terrible SWS). My first attempt to do the danger sign got ruined by a front flip. Terrible SWS. I one-shotted the speed trap and got another terrible SWS. Rivals. (1) Bola Ocho , Fiesta ST. Rain and understeer, the winning combination. (2) Gran Pantano . Toyota Camry. This thing will be better with upgrades. (3) El Pípila . The Durango. Overpowered, fast and wobbly. (4) Dunas Blancas . Lucid Air. What?! Again?! Overpowered, fat barge. I think I did take the car out for a spin the last time it was in the game, and even on gentle corners it wanted to go sideways. Eventlab (1). Yes, the tiles were actually working this week. Black Sands Truck Ranch . Terrible “track”. The first hairpin need a mid-corner checkpoint or something. Prop placement ahead of the final corner was terrible. The reward was another MB A45. Third? Pr...

I started this series last night, which meant that today’s MS outrage… sorry, general MS outage didn’t inconvenience me quite as much as it might’ve if I’d waited till today to deal with the Festival playlist. In accordance with long established traditions, I began with the treasure hunt, driving over some bumpy terrain north of Playa Azul to randomly complete the challenge. The weekly was in the Honda S2000 CR. It included the Volcán Sprint , which was also in the Up to Grade seasonal. Did no one at PGG notice this reduplication? I one-shotted the Coast View speed trap from the north, just picking up enough speed without taking too long of a run-up. As I predicted, I was too slow to be able to complete Océano Azul from the north, but had no problems starting from the main Festival site. The two SWSs were one-third good. One-shotted Punta Allen from the south and got a rubbish SWS. I dealt with the HA and the picture beside the statue. The latter got me yet another ridiculous outf...

The treasure hunt was a matter of doing danger signs in my Bentley until I randomly hit whatever the target was. 100 FPs reward. I can spend them on, er… Somefink nice for the missus. The weekly in the 2017 Alpine A110 passed without anything of note occurring. I got through a wreckage HA by myself. I feared I might acquire 37 dependents who’d expect me to do all the work for them. I one-shotted all the PR stunts, even the speed trap. The trick there seems to be to use all the road from the top, but not to start booting it until you get to the right-hand curve that head down the hill. One SWS was one-third good, and the other two were rubbish. The photo unlocked the Dark Horse, which I’ve had a brief play with it, but have had enough of FH5 for the moment. Rivals round San Juan was advertising for the Universal Icons Car Pack. It was quite possibly the slowest Rivals event I’ve ever done. Línea Costera was a pain. Fat EV SUV, hopeless handling, several visits to Barry R. Not a fun ex...

I fast travelled in my 1953 Corvette to a spot near the telescope, drove towards it, and completed the treasure hunt. I spent the credits on that race suit, although I haven’t seen clothing in the wheel spins in ages. I did the weekly in the Impreza. No problems. Even got six stars in drift zones in two goes. Only one Eventlab event this week, the beautifully made, but rather annoying Take no Michi “ Night Race ”. In essence it was a squitty little cross-country race which we had to do in rally cars. Was this meant to be some sort of drift circuit? The photo challenge was to take a picture of an off-road car with Uxmal in the background. We had to use the new Raptor for the monthly rivals. It chugged round River Scramble and seemed pretty decent stock. Vista del Mar in the new Mustang was a bit more fraught. Early braking need for sharp corners, and I twice just managed to avoid clonking a wall. One PR stunt. Not the worst danger sign for the possibility of hitting trees, but annoyi...

The treasure hunt was a matter of doing a jump in the Esseesse, which even in D class managed to complete the task. The weekly in the Renault Clio Williams was easy money. Eventlab (1). Nelipo Track (Night). Not bad, but the layout on the mini-map had annoying overlaps. Although courses might crossover parts, the path should otherwise be discrete so as not to annoy me… I mean, annoy players. There was also on weirdly placed checkpoint ahead of a sharp left, but I wonder whether like last week, this was meant to mark the braking zone. Eventlab (2). FBMR GP8 Ram Jam . What an absolutely opaque title for a decent track based in Guanajuato. Eventlab (3). Link City Full Throttle . I assume the idea was shortcuts, but that only works when you know the course. Otherwise, utterly ludicrous. The SWS was one-third good. I got the HA done, which is much less bothersome, although in the second round several other players appeared, which had me worried that I might be doing all the work on behalf ...

“What are you rebelling against, Johnny?” How many mediocre reward cars have you got? The weekly in the 458 Italia went off without any problems. The HA was also easy money, although in the past couple of days, my connection in game has been less stable. Eventlab (1), Coast City Circuit , was another example of a well-built track with an absolutely dreadful layout with too many tight turns for this to be fun. Eventlab (2), Dancing Gopher , was a pretty decent scramble. One lap was enough, but it was all right. The placement of checkpoints ahead of corners was a bit disconcerting, but I can only guess the creator did that as a kind of marker for braking. Eventlab (3), Powerplant Surge v. 1.3 , was another sort of GTA 5 style circuit. Not too bad, but the props seemed a little patchy. Very good wheel spin afterwards. Doing the collectibles got me the Valkyrie AMR Pro. More about that below. As this is the first week of the series, it was time once again for Rivals. We had to drive the Va...

I thought this series was meant to be a celebration of the Chinese New Year, but it’s really started as drift week. No, the Chinese are not drifty boys unless you want to define “drifting” as their inability to stay in lane. I bumbled my way through the treasure hunt in the Austin-Healey. The treasure was in the cave south-east of Ek’ Balam (as I realised when I got there). The weekly started the drift theme with hi-jinks in the No. 777 Corvette (which if you need it, can be got from the Trial). At least there was nothing beyond irritating. Three Eventlabs again. The first was Utopia Garden Recension (by DJS). Actually, the creator is no recommendation. It was all right, but the pyramid structure was so washed-out that it was hard to see it against the sand. The SWS was absolute rubbish. The second Eventlab was Turbine Raceway , which was yet again, another twisted circle. I got a good wheel spin out of this one from going up a level. The third Eventlab was Butterfly Tunnel Run , whic...

As there was no treasure hunt this week (Omnes [but insincerely]: Shame!), I started with the weekly in the 2018 Mustang. For the danger sign task I went to the top of the volcano because every time I tried the motorway or Festival site jumps, the car went arse over tit (as we say in the vernacular). We had to have a Street Scene race as well, didn’t we? (Scream.) I managed to do the HA without any fuss or bother. Yes, dear reader, I was actually online in free roam. It didn’t last. The first Eventlab was Crop Circle Stadium Rally , which was sort of like a drift zone, which seemed to be rather irritating until… Eventlab (2), which necessitated a trip to Eventlab Island for some race which was on a decent enough circuit, with the annoying dial being set to maximum. And just to dump a turd into my bowl of irritation soup, the SWS was bloody rubbish. Never mind, the photo made it all… worse, forcing me to start a Street Scene race (scream!) to take a picture of my Camaro ZL1 1LE, and rew...

So, it seems that for the treasure hunt I have to drive the Maserati GT S from Mulegé to Guanajuato. A few minutes later… That didn’t work. Perhaps I should’ve used the FE Maserati GT S because that’s in the picture. A few minutes later… That didn’t work. House-to-house? A few minutes later… That didn’t work. Perhaps it might work after I reboot my laptop. The next day… What?! Why aren’t you bloody well working?! [Interlude.] I decide to give it one more go, but this time veer off the motorway and head cross country towards Guanajuato, slamming into the houses on the south side of the town. Job done. FFS. Since the update, the chance that I’m actually online in free roam and seeing other players has improved. It won’t last, but it meant I could do an HA to tick that off the playlist. The weekly was in the Abarth 595. I think the game told me that one event was complete, and the rest of the time I had to check. The Eventlab tiles were working. I started with Forest Mountain Circuit , wh...

I started with the treasure hunt because you never know when it might be buggy. Snap of my Ford Focus, and it was all done. Some nice person sent me a Ford Focus as a gift. Why? Why would you do that? Delete the car if you don’t want it, but don’t go annoying other people. The weekly. Some rubbish old VW Golf which I hadn’t previously bothered with… I mean, I was saving it for a special occasion. Not as painful as I feared it might be, but not a car I’ll ever drive again unless I have to. The first daily of the season is only worth mentioning because it forces players to use the clunky test track that isn’t actually a test track. Rivals. Emira (aside: advertising for the Racing Car Pack?) for one and the AMG GT Black Series for the other. Both pretty decent cars straight out of the box. I feel I could’ve been a bit faster in Copper Canyon, but didn’t want to do anything stupid. Another playlist in which we’re expected to do an HA. Suddenly, I’m online, There are other players in Mexico...