Occasional Tales

Go about your business, citizens. Well, having established what constitutes short shorts, I realised that I hadn't covered the conditions in the arena of play. Actually, it's quite simple. You can play the game anywhere at any time, but you aren't allowed to go looking. In other words, the sightings must be random. You can't, for example, sit in a popular public place for the sole purpose of playing the game. But if you're in a restaurant and you happen to be sitting at the window, then you can play the game. Don't think there will be much chance of playing the game today. It's been raining on and off.

Quarter length? That's practically a pair of trousers. My score in the short shorts game when I went over to Carrefour this morning was a pitiful 30. I scored 150 when I went to Zoe's this evening, but as I sat there looking out the window and kind of regretting my decision to go there because I wasn't feeling that hungry and I haven't been feeling that well, I thought that the short shorts game really needs some definite rules. The basic criterion is that the shorts must have the merest hint of length. They don't have to be denim, but most of the short shorts which satisfy the first condition are. So, there's Version 1.0 of the rules. Feel free to play along if you're somewhere in China.

I got lost. I went for a walk after tea last night and lost my bearings. However, my final score in the short shorts game was 195 points. I don't think it's really the weather for short shorts, but I don't think the girls here understand that. Nor do many of them understand that short shorts and high heels aren't really the most sensible combination. Boxes arrived today, and everything was sorted out quickly and efficiently. Some loose ends to be tied up, but the bulk of my stuff has somewhere to go.

In at least two senses. But first, short shorts news. My outing to Carrefour yesterday resulted in a score of 150 points in spite of the day being a little cooler. Not sure there will be much short shorts action today because it's raining. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, on with the main feature. It's been noted in various places (aka expat blogs) that China does appear to attract some rather peculiar foreigners. The programme I'm with has had alcoholics, drug addicts, gay child molesters, and a couple guys who apparently set themselves up as pimps. There are also the missionary tendency people who seem to be older colonial women who, at least subconsciously, appear to believe they're bringing enlightenment to the heathens. I'm told that Chengdu is full of foreign weirdos. Tësaien celmenne tei' édhi. Cadhan si·mei mé 'tei. All these sorts of people seem to think that the laws of physics don't apply in China. Somehow, what would be normal dece...