Occasional Tales

According to tradition and a fear of bugs, I started with the treasure hunt for which I got an A for completion and an F for dignity since I toppled over the edge of the building and landed roof-first on the chest. Later, I saw a video of what we were supposed to have done, which involved jumping to the lower floor of the building and then jumping obliquely across a gap. Later, I saw a video of my method. I hadn’t previously tried the RAM 1500 TRX, which was the car for the weekly. It was heavy and not much inclined to turn. Went over to the spaceport for the photo op. For the ST I started with the 2020 Supra which, I think, with a clear run I could’ve hit the target. Casting about for the right car, I lighted on the NSX-R GT. Engine swap and not much else, and managed to hit the target without too much rewinding for the excessive amounts of traffic impeding me. I one-shotted the TB in the WP Evo VIII, and then one-shotted the DZ in the Acty. The wheel spins were excellent (although I ...

I started with the weekly in the 2020 BMW M2. Not my favourite version of the car in FH5 as I preferred the 2016 model. That was all straightforward. I followed the weekly up with the picture of the car in the baseball stadium. In my hunt for vending machines to smash for the collectibles task, I found three alongside each other. Easy win, I thought until it became apparent that I’d managed to find the three indestructible machines in Tokyo. For the DS I used the Honda Trophy Truck, which rather neatly dropped down a class when I added snow tyres, although it took several attempts to get it all quite right. I one-shotted the SZ in the 2011 GT-R Black Edition (stock, I think). One very good wheel spin, a car (the Audi RS4 Avant), and two rubbish wheel spins. Let’s see, Be a Good Sport . Street Scene. Scream! By the way, Tokyo City Docks Charge isn’t a charge. It’s mostly wriggling and wiggling. When in Roma featured two sprint races, Oh joy. Oh, hang on, I can change the level of diff...

Once again, the location of the treasure was obvious. Middle of the north-west part of the golf course. I got my free SWS – yes, only one a week in FH6 –, which I’m mentioning because BlackPanthaa got exactly the same SWS in the video in which he was grinding away to unlock the FE BMW M2, viz. Colin McRae’s Ford Focus, the BMW 850 CSi, and some petty cash. The car for the weekly challenge was the Nissan Silvia K’S. I still have no idea what the K’S is supposed to stand for. Kiss? (Because vowels are devoiced in Japanese between voiceless consonants.) I felt the drag meets were #ForcedEngagement, but I supposed it spared us the bollocks of Bowie Knife99 and his wretched friends being impossible to beat regardless of the level of difficulty. The photo has to be done at the base of Tokyo Tower. I PB’ed the TB in spite of an absolutely dreadful run across the golf course. For the DS, a slightly built Honda Trophy Truck ended up being the way to go, and I one-shotted the SZ. And what did I...

Oh, gods, here we go again. I started with the treasure hunt and quickly realised that the place to go was Kinkaku-ji Temple. Of course, I started with this in case it’s still buggy. The weekly in the GR86 was all right, but if I click on an SZ as my destination, why doesn’t it acknowledge that I’ve arrived at my destination when I pass through the map marker? The touge race appears to be what happens when an SZ makes a baby with Street Scene races – a foul and hideous monster emerges, hissing and spitting. The photo at the Festival site got me a horn to go with all the other stupid, cretinous, retarded horns that the collection journal spews at you. I did Hot Like Summer in the Renault Clio Williams. Seemed to be a good choice. As I now know, the seasonals are no longer locked to a particular level of difficulty. The main nuisance is switching from one to another after you start a race because you have to quit the race. The old system which let you tune the car at the start of races ...

  Races, yes; custom, not really. Alongside Horizon Open, which is a series of different championships across different classes, is custom racing, which limits player to a single category (road, dirt, etc.) and class (B, A, S1, S2) for the entire time. I started trying this mode again last week because earlier attempts had failed due to lack of players. At first it was still the usual – unbalanced races with some cheater/exploiter vanishing off into the distance. Most of the races had small lobbies of three or four players, and where the racing was even, it was also clean. Yesterday afternoon I went back to custom racing and found the lobbies somewhat larger much to my dismay. I was right to be dismayed because it was just like Horizon Open with more shoving. And thus I didn’t manage to complete a single championship because I kept quitting races from being shoved. I have no desire to race against such filth. What made it worse was that it was maliciously done. I suspect that one p...