FH5, Series 51, Week 1

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Treasure hunt. Drive along the motorway. Do the speed zone? Or just drive through the cloverleaf junction? Who knows. I completed the task and found that I just about had 127,000 FPs.

The weekly in the 2012 MB SLK AMG was unproblematic. I even managed to drift the car for the skill points in spite of it being RWD. Normally, I end up spinning out sooner or later in such cars.

Only one Rivals event this month round Mulegé in the Porsche 911 GT3, a car which is all right stock.

As I hurtled towards the DS in the MB AMG 45, I sensed that the car needed max. engine to complete the task. My instincts were right, and I had to rebuild the car. One-third good SWS. I wasn’t surprised when it took me three attempts to do the SZ in the 2015 Audi TT before crashing into a rock before the irony of the SWS, which included a 2010 Audi  TT RS. It also took three attempts to complete the DZ in the BMW 325i for which I got a two-thirds excellent SWS.

Only one Eventlab this week. Shipyard Autocross Battle was yet again another sort of karting track. The reward was an emote which I probably already have and never wanted in the first place.

I missed the HW PR stunt by a mere 207pts on my first attempt. Arse biscuits! (Oops! In the age of the Online Safety Act, I probably can’t say “arse biscuits”; think of the children [lament, wail]; no, wait, if I say that I’m quoting Father Jack’s famous line from Father Ted, I’m probably all right.) I got a one-third very good SWS.

The RA PR stunt also took a couple of attempts for another one-third good SWS.

And then the Trial in the MB 190E. A stock MB 190E, a car that upgrading only marginally improves. It’s a terrible, fat barge. Overpowered with bugger all handling. I was at the back of the grid for Estadio, managing to make my way to 5th before taking 4th place, which seemed to have us just winning the race by 50pts … No, foolish human, you’ve lost! I also started at the back in Reservorio and was briefly in 1st place, but the car slid wide and the player behind me got past. However, the players formed a solid bloc for a solid win. Onto the decider… No, foolish human, you’ve won the Trial!

I first upgraded the 190E and then downgraded it to something that was approximately drivable low in A class, although it’s still iffy. This car is probably the worst of the MBs of this generation. Even the Hammer is better.

I voted for the Track Day series, although I can see the forum blowhards all screaming for Día de Muertos because some terrible, boring car has only ever been in the game once etc. All right, I’m looking at the Meyers Manx, the tampon ad car driven along beaches by hot blondes everywhere. Menstrual cramps be damn’d!

Mind you, I can understand issues with the Backstage Pass vote this week because, I think, the Porsche was a Track Day car which we could get without all this rigmarole. This does seem to be bad planning on the part of PGG. Most of the time I don’t bother with the Backstage Pass vote. I usually dislike the choices or (less often) don’t mind which pair wins, but can’t be bothered making a choice.

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