FH5, Series 38, preview

Lazy. My thought – to anticipate my post about the final week of Series 37 – is that Series 38 looks a little lazy. The Forzathon Shop seems to be alternating between HW and 10th-anniversary merch. Yes, I’m sure newer players will be delighted to be able to acquire such items if they missed out on them.

Four new cars in the playlist. The 1995 Mitsubishi Evo III seems to be a refugee from that popular Forza Motorsport which everyone is playing [They are? –ed.]. I’m hoping it’ll be decent on dirt, but I already have my go-to Evos for seasonals in the game.

I’m also not sure about the 2022 Subaru WRX now that I’ve heard AR12 Nick give it a shrug. Again, I have my preferred, ready-to-go Imprezas/WRX/STi Subarus. Is this like an SUV in that it looks like it ought to be out in the countryside, but never ever strays off tarmac? In other words, it’s a saloon car that aspires to be a rally car.

As for the Toyota Chaser, I admit I’ve never heard of it. I assume that it’s a rival to the Nissan Skyline, but visually much less appealing.

The final car is the Volvo C30P from 2013, another car which, I admit again, means nothing to me. It’s probably going to be like the Polestar (and, I bet, will have the same perks and same default tuning settings), which is a car over which my eyes pass and do not stop. Probably another hot hatch of no particular merit because as with the Evo and the Impreza above, I already have my preferred cars in this category.

The shoe car sort of looks cool, but it also looks like the sort of car that will have way too much power and way too little handling, which upgrades and tuning probably won’t cure. Also, basketball? Oh dear, how American. Anyway, I’m sure this was money well spent by the marketing department of US Mega-shoe Corporation™®© (Our motto: No supposed, alleged or perceived affront is too small for an annihilation-level lawsuit.)

Unsurprisingly, the new hide-and-seek mode will be in every week of the Festival playlist in Series 38. Perhaps players with xbox Elite controllers or players on wheels might do well, but I’ve seen a comment from one controller player about issues with turning smoothly, and as a keyboard player myself, it’s impossible to maintain a constant speed. In other words, this will almost never work as the developers intended it to work. I expect the exploiters will quickly uncover the means to “cheat” within the rules.

The hide-and-seek car roster has also been updated. Like the Eliminator, there will be the cars that suit the game mode and those that don’t. Or games that start in, say, Guanajuato will favour road-going cars, but the final chase is more likely to favour off-roaders. I shan’t be bothering with hide-and-seek just as I don’t bother with PGG. I really ought to ignore the Eliminator which has never yet become less dis-likeable.

I’ve seen glimpses of the maze which, I hope, won’t be overly annoying to traverse. There are a couple of dailies where players will have to enter the labyrinth, but I don’t know whether any of the rewards connected with the maze will make it genuinely worthwhile.

Series 39 will be Back to the 90s. I see there’s going to be new clothing. Yes, I’m trying to restrain myself at the thought of all those sensual silk evening gowns caressing my hairy legs, and the fabric clinging revealingly to my podgy figure. Pity about the theme, though. I saw a yellow Maserati MC20 just recently, which looked gorgeous. How is it that the car’s not yet in the game?