FH5, Series 38, Week 1

I have a shitty Friday timetable, having English P1 with the A2s and English P10 with the A2s. I have a longish lunchtime during which I can do some of the Festival playlist, but which in future I’m more likely to use for a much-needed nap unless someone fixes the timetable. In other words, I may not post anything till Saturday or Sunday, depending on how energetic I feel. (I see I said this last week. Well, I tend to forget such things at my age. #GeriatricGit.)

We start as ever with the treasure hunt. I used the Audi E-Tron as my choice of annoying EV. The treasure had to be in the stadium maze, but there’s an easy cheat in that you can drive up a ramp near the entrance close to the chest and see from above where it’s stashed. Fast travel to safety afterwards.

The weekly was horrid. Peel Trident? Ugh with bells on. I hope the weekly with the Isetta will be less painful.

Eventlab. Only one this week, Meereen Creek Oasis, and the tile was working. Turned out to be a 2nd~3rd gear track with a glitchy checkpoint. Small circuit, but that’s not a recommendation. Two-thirds good SWS.

The PR stunts. The danger sign had to be a pain because my Lancer Evo VI had no problems apart from the Forza gods nudging it slightly to the right, causing me to land on one of those evil trees. Done second attempt and I got a one-third very good SWS. I one-shotted the speed zone. The trick is to slow down quite a bit for the sharp left-hander, which somehow results in a better speed to the next annoying corner which taken in the same way enabled me to hit the target without even trying. The SWS was one-third good and one-third excellent.

The photo got me a “camo” race suit that would only camouflage you in a puddle of luminescent vomit.

I did Rivals in the Volvo C30 round Lookout without any issues because my rival seemed to be mucking around. I was less impressed with the Lancver Evo III round a wet Plaza Circuit. The car seemed quite good and I must have a proper play with it, but why was it in a slidey road race? Bugger all stopping power.

I’d experimented with the Jaguar XKR-S GT for 3am Zoomies, but felt it lacked adequate handling. I switched to the XE-S, which I left RWD and build to the top of A class. (Side note: I’d not previously driven the car.) The PWR was just under 0.3. Result: a decent series of races in a car that was nice to drive. I think that was my third Mégane R26.R. Not sure.

It was back in the CJ5 Renegade for Born Tough about which there’s little to say. The Renegade was a sound choice.

Cat’s out of the Barn. At least it’s possible to find a list of Barn Finds in FH5, which is more than can be said for the Series 37 events. I picked the BMW 2002 Turbo because it was pret-à-driver [French, I think. –ed.] It’s been awhile since this last happened, but all the drivatars were in the 1999 Dodge Viper just as in Horizon 4, they’d all be in the Jaguar XJS. Silly. I won by a decent margin round Cathedral.

It was another week for a Horizon Tour. I ended up doing S1 900 cross country in any old rubbish. I drove a Porsche Macan and came 2nd (even though it’s only S1 857). The winner drove a Bone Shaker, the exploitative little bastard. Otherwise everyone else could not have chosen a worse car.

I started on the back row of Montaña in the Trial and came 2nd. I did practise the race in my Mini Countryman beforehand, which revealed how out of practice I was. I’m pretty certain that the player who quit went barrelling straight down the side of the mountain, and I managed to complete the race without making a fool of myself. Good team win. In Mulegé I was on the front row of the human grid and came 2nd again. Team win, but by less of a margin. The winner of Montaña was doing well enough, but after I passed him, two drivatars then passed him as well. I think the problem may have been the usual – players who can’t turn corners.

I one-shotted the HW PR stunt in the 2022 Golf R. The fans helped. One-third good SWS.

I used the 2015 Corvette for Flex those Muscles. Had to start with the Ram’s Head, but I actually managed to negotiate that awful hairpin once again without slamming into the wall or being undercut by some drivatar with preternatural driving skills. The reward was that FD Mustang. Nice livery, shame about the handling. But the races all felt like a lazy choice and really, I suppose, highly the lack of variety in the HW Theme Park.

I was back in the 2022 Golf R for the RA speed zone. Usual issues with understeer for a one-third good SWS.

And then C for Classic. Lancia Fulvia. Job done, although for a Ford Cortina.

Hide-and-Seek

No, still no. I watched DUBS bumble his way through one. I watched AR12 Nick exploit his way through one. I also watched some game play from the zone in Mulegé posted by a very tiny channel on YouTube. The consensus seems to be that the hider has a major advantage with the pursuit breaker, but I can’t see how the hider can hide if the seekers have radars that point right at him. That’s not how hide-and-seek works. At least not in my day.

Guanajuato would seem to be annoying because navigating the map is a pain. Round Playa Azul it looked to be a case of who could drive through the jungle the most deftly. Not sure about Mulegé or what tactics might work or not work there. The edge of the town overlooking the Mulegé circuit could be an absolute nuisance because of the barrier that the town forms.

Not best pleased to see that today’s daily is to get five speed skills in Hide-and-Seek (#ForcedEngagement). I thought it was all about hiding and seeking. What a silly old person I am for thinking such a thing.

1969 FE Camaro

It’s all right. Issues: needs proper gears which sends it into S1 class even though this affects none of its stats (a stupid thing). Bit understeery because of the wide body, but it gets style points. Best use: non-serious racing. Least likely to appeal to: the autistic, OCD try-hards. Most embarrassing users: idiot YouTubers who think the car needs more hp than I have brain cells [What? 7hp? –ed.]

Backstage Pass

So, it seems that the Backstage Pass may be coming to FH5. Will this be the same as FH4 where we had to vote for one car or another (and everyone voted for the car I didn’t want)? Will this include the missing Extreme E vehicles that I lost because of the save system ruining my game; or are those going to be like the Quartz Regalia and Regalia D in FH4 – gone because the licence has expired? (Side note: I believe that series has now passed into history and the next one is going to be hydrogen-fuelled barges; channel your inner Hindenburg, lads; anyway, the licence on the Extreme E cars may have expired. #WildGuesses.) And what does this mean for FH6? (My current guess, announcement next spring or summer, release in about a year; watch me be wrong.)