Occasional Tales

Marry, snog, kill? I mean, Yes, No, Maybe? The Automobili Pininfarina Battista is Tuning 3/9, front 48%, and has an SWS and a 100% XP bonus. No engine swaps, but doesn’t need it with the max. stock speed being 457kmh. Looks sexy, but is a chunky, plus-sized model underneath. I took it for a practice spin round the HW Goliath , but through the loop it went flying into the air, hitting the track above the crest on the far side. Back to my garage to slap aero on. 14:14 over three laps. Very fast, but hefty and only good for PR stunts in my view, or driving fast up and down the motorway because you feel like it. The Bentley Continental GT score 1/9 for tuning, front 55% (not as bad as I’d predicted), and has a 200% XP bonus. Not terrible out of the box, but really needs tunable gears. A rim swap gets you 30kg off this weighty British barge. I built it into S1 class. Fine, but not competitive. Drive round the map in it pretending to be a footballer. As I suspected, the Jaguar Project 8 is ...

No MC20, no 911 GT3 RS. Yes, it’s European Automotive Disappointment. I think I typed “update”, but my fingers slipped. Old person problems. The series rewards are the Ferrari 575 M and 2021 Audi RS6. Do I ever drive these? No. Am I excited for their reappearance? No. Week 1 we get dished up the Valkyrie AMR Pro in short order, which is good, but can we have some proper motorsport tracks to race this on? Probably best in the Hot Wheels expansion where the power can be put to good use. I don’t mind the reappearance of the Megane RS 250. Probably the most practical addition of the week is the Lancia Fulvia, which should’ve been copied and pasted with all the rest of the Lancias. I’m hoping that it’ll be as good as it is in Horizon 4. Week 2 gives us the VW ID.4. O Dullness, thou purveyor of blandness, how thy servants furnish the land with their anodyne blessings . But the ATS GT is a welcome return. Don’t care about the Citroen DS23. I think I drove it once in FH4 after we got it in tha...

The photo for the treasure hunt could, it appears, be taken anywhere roughly in the area specified. No need for a waterfall in the background. The weekly was in the 2000 Nissan Silvia. Mine is a car with a rather nice livery which was given to me as a gift a long time ago. I’ve taken it out in races, it’s specced for racing, it was good to race. I’m not overly fond of the Silvias because FH4 had a tendency to dish them out quite frequently in wheel spins. The Coastview Circuit (S1-class modern supercars) was a decent example of what can be done in Eventlab. It’s a pity that the SWS was an indecent example of how the game rewards players. However, things got better on the random rewards front. District 17: Sewer Races was bugged at the start, with my car being reset or something. Another bloody race at night (rolls eyes in irritation). This one seemed to be an attempt to sort of reproduce Crash Canyon (daß stimmt?) from Wreckfest. The PR stunts gave me three very excellent SWSs and a...

It was convenient to deal with the first daily of the week, the photo and the collectibles at the stadium all in one fell swoop. This week’s weekly was in the Hoonigan F-150, thus continuing the whole drift theme of this series. I’d already practised the Volcán Sprint in less than ideal conditions (i.e., the wet) yesterday, hence I knew it could be done without too much grief. I’m surprised we weren’t made to do Reservorio as well. Eventlab (1). Arcadia . Another artistic Eventlab course from DJS. Not a bad circuit, but it looks to be designed for drifting. Absolute rubbish SWS. Eventlab (2). Hilltop Scramble was another decent circuit. This is more like it. Eventlab (3). Otoribashi . I liked the style, but was not so keen on the course. I one-shotted all three danger signs in the Hyundai Ioniq which merely needed the gear tuned to make the car ridiculously fast in A-class. A couple of the SWSs were one-third all right, and the other was good. I chose the Lynk and Co. 03+ for Fine C...

It started badly. I was thinking about practising the three races, but decided to simply get on with it. There were three of us, including one player in a Lexus LFA. In spite of coming 3rd in Granjas , it was a major team loss. I came 1st in Callejera , leading a team win. Somehow in Cruce de Valle I ended up in 6th place to another team loss even though I thought I’d made better progress than that. The problem was the player in the LFA, although I can’t say why beyond guessing they lacked the competence to handle the car. I immediately joined a new team and took 3rd place in Granjas (1st player) and 3rd in Callejera (1st player after starting in last place). Job done. I could see the two drivatars ahead of me, but could do nothing to dent their lead. However, the rest of the team was somewhere behind me in full support in both races. And that’s a third LFA in my garage. The two attempts to do the Trial were utterly contrary. In the first one the drivatars seemed to be overwhelmingl...

The treasure hunt was a matter of doing three drifts in a Jag and going to the stadium to get a reward. It was convenient because the first daily of the week was a snap of a car on some viewing platform that got me yet another pointless emote. The weekly was driving the Lexus LFA. I had to lower the aero to get the car to 320kmh without upgrading it further, and as I discovered, I had to create a custom race for the Stadium Circuit because the only two S2-class races were both restricted to Porsches. Eventlab (1). Dystopia Ruins . Very artistic design from DJS, but terrible idea. I used the Extreme E again because I was expecting a race, but got an obstacle course in which I was thumping into every rock and wall there was. An annoying task for a one-third excellent SWS. Eventlab (2). Autodromo Int. B Cecilia . This was a proper circuit all for a rubbish reward. Eventlab (3). JCO Project Race 2 . Another trip to Eventlab Island. This was another well-constructed circuit with a GTA V the...

I thought this series was meant to be a celebration of the Chinese New Year, but it’s really started as drift week. No, the Chinese are not drifty boys unless you want to define “drifting” as their inability to stay in lane. I bumbled my way through the treasure hunt in the Austin-Healey. The treasure was in the cave south-east of Ek’ Balam (as I realised when I got there). The weekly started the drift theme with hi-jinks in the No. 777 Corvette (which if you need it, can be got from the Trial). At least there was nothing beyond irritating. Three Eventlabs again. The first was Utopia Garden Recension (by DJS). Actually, the creator is no recommendation. It was all right, but the pyramid structure was so washed-out that it was hard to see it against the sand. The SWS was absolute rubbish. The second Eventlab was Turbine Raceway , which was yet again, another twisted circle. I got a good wheel spin out of this one from going up a level. The third Eventlab was Butterfly Tunnel Run , whic...