Occasional Tales

In spite of exams this week and the horrors of marking, I’ve managed to get through the Festival playlist. Almost. Treasure hunt. I guessed that the best jump for the Isetta was off the volcano. Job done, but the chest had to be placed awkwardly for a lovely slice of slight irritation. The weekly was in the BMW M4 GTS. Be nice if there was an in-game manual explaining exactly what a Hard Charger skill is. Nope, I have no idea. Something to do with going fast off the line; something I achieve randomly. I wasn’t much impressed by the reappearance of the Ladera speed zone which so vexed everyone last week. I did it badly, but completed the task. I got a good wheel spin afterwards. Eventlab (1). Rabbit Raceway , was a twisty Hot Wheels track which merely succeeded in being another slice of annoying for the week. Too many fiddly turns and no banking. Eventlab (2). Touge Battle Vol. 3 . Drive down some narrow road. Pretend it’s fun. Get a one-third excellent SWS. PR stunts. It was another we...

But first some news from last week. I was unable to do last week’s HA as a daily till yesterday. I spent 11 fraught minutes hoping that I wasn’t going to be disconnected. I also switched HAs when I got the impression that I might be dealing with a freeloader. Job done. But HAs should not be dailies since the connectivity is so appallingly bad. I started with the treasure hunt. I crashed about in the AMC Rebel. The treasure was placed in a position which provoked annoyance. I had an issue with the weekly. You had to drive 8.0 km, but my 3-Eleven refused to register more than about 100m. I think the problem was from fast travelling to claim a gift (that I could then pass on to some “new” player) because when I switched to my other Lotus 3-Eleven, the process resumed. The game then crashed when I went to Casa Bella to upgrade the car. The rivals challenge was a nuisance because I’m running out of races where I’m put up against the slowest time. I took a picture of the Morgan Aero GT, whic...

The pain and the grind. I started with the weekly in the BAC Mono which went well. The photo was a repeat screening of the cave that’s roughly SSE of Ek’ Balam. Eventab (1). Laderas GP . Another good circuit. Didn’t quite have the polish of Pie de Volcán , but was an excellent choice. Eventlab (2). Ninja Marv Muddy Mangos . Silly name, but a decent enough rally circuit with some awkward corners. Rubbish SWS. Absolute donkey turd. Eventlab (3). GP Goyta Full . What in the name of the Forza gods was this sodding ridiculous thing?! The moment I saw S2-class extreme track toys, I knew that I was going to loathe it and I did. I assume that it’s a track where the kiddies can slam into each other, knock each other out of checkpoints, and vote each other capital fellows for being enormous plonkers. Not fun. And the prize was some ridiculous clothing, thus confirming my supposition of the target audience. I one-shotted the speed trap in the Nova, and then spent half an hour or so building and r...

The first of the Secret Santa cars, the GMA T.50, got unlocked a couple of days ago. I gave it a spin yesterday, but got tangled up in annoying affairs of state, which delayed me posting some thoughts about the car until today. 655hp, but only 1,017kg. S2 936. Tuning 6/9, which is good, but exclude gears, aero and diff. The only engine upgrade is twin turbos (which send it to 902hp). It also has down force and V Max modes, which make a difference of about 17kmh (347 ~ 365kmh). Car masteries are actually not bad and include a 200% race bonus. I even got an excellent wheel spin out of it. I’ve been doing a lot of Rivals in Línea Costera recently mainly for testing purposes and mainly because it’s one of those awful races with an irritating turn one where the drivatars are maximally painful. I managed 02:27.667 in the stock T.50 in down-force mode. I tuned what could be tuned stock and managed to get the time down to 02:21.789 – eventually. Even though the car is quite grippy, it’s gripp...

Let the bugs begin. I went over to the stadium which was empty apart from an icon marking Winter Wonderland . I clicked on it, and the Forzathon shop appeared. I sent someone an Alfa Romeo TZ2 as a gift before a bunch of props appeared and I fell through the ground. I reset my car, but was still trapped inside the barrier and had to fast travel to safety. The introductory announcement is being repeated each time I start the game. The treasure hunt seemed to be a matter of driving up the Volcán Sprint until some random point. I was online in free roam, which meant I was able to do an HA. As it turned out, I did the HA while a bunch of freeloaders who lurked elsewhere waited till the time ran out. If I’d had another minute I would’ve been able to get it all done, but the task was complete even though all three rounds weren’t. I think this was the first weekly in a car that I actually like – the 2016 Cayman GT4. The Winter Wonderland Circuit is as bad as I feared. Might make a good cart...

And the other guys. Yes, I bought the Fast and Furious DLC. If you haven’t, if you’re dithering, don’t bother. Fanboys only, I’d say. I tried the cars stock in free roam, tuning what could be tuned. Dodge Charger Hellcat Redeye. Tuning 1/9; car masteries: mostly rubbish (Street Scene and drifting). No engine swaps. Overpowered, terrible handling. Back end wants to be the front, or the car wants to understeer or understeer and slide. Feels floaty. The Flip Car might be redeemable. 6.5 for tuning (the 0.5 is rear aero), and the car has a 200% race bonus. Three-speed gearbox and in spite of it being all frame and no trousers, it’s still 1,882kg. Good steering, but not bulletproof. The Dodge Charger (1970). Tuning 4.5/9 (0.5 because the final drive can be tuned). Has masteries for dirt and drag racing (why are all antique muscle cars in the game meant to be dirt racers? Domestic American racing scene?) Much the same as the Hellcat – overpowered, understeery, slidey, unstable. Datsun 240Z. ...

Could do better. Fast and Furious dlc – more overweight, overpowered American barges. Yes, I’ll probably buy the car pack, but as I said in the previous entry, there are so many cars in the game, I don’t have time for all of them. I’ve neglected other car packs somewhat and I may never try these outside of free roam. Four expensive, copy-and-paste Autoshow cars that seem to be intended – as AR12 Nick has suggested – to provoke players into shelling out their shekels on the Car Voucher scam. Yes, I called it a “scam”. The Gordon Murray T50 has piqued my interest. The Valkyrie is probably going to be the Nevera to the Concept version of the car. Same actress, different shade of lipstick. But the whole Secret Santa thing could be vexatious if I end up bombarded with rubbish. After being spared gifts for some time, I seem to have been the target for unwelcome donations. I can only hope we see no more of this in FH6. A new circuit race, albeit one that only appears in winter. Unfortunately,...

Prefatory note I’ve been out of sorts since last weekend. My anxiety levels shot up and I was having one or more migraines a day. I went to see a doctor who prescribed Ativan, which is supposed to treat anxiety. What’s one of the side effects? Er, anxiety. Another side effect is visual oddities. The less bothersome is that colours tend to be muted and grainy. The more bothersome is when things ripple in and out of view. I hope things will calm down through the passage of next week, but I have to admit I did this week’s playlist under the influence. Don’t do it, children! Don’t do it! (And what’s worse I can’t have my customary glass of wine while I’m taking the Ativan; what cruel, heartless pharmaceutical company would deprived a chap of his glass of wine?) On with the games Luckily, I was already in the Exocet when I started the game. Treasure hunt done. The weekly was to drive an ageing American barge (the 2017 F-150) or some antique version of the same from the Dark Ages. I’d done n...