Occasional Tales

Or how much more intelligent I am than you? I had the Ass classes write a review because it’s one of the InterBac text types which they might have to reproduce in the exam. I don’t know if there’s an official structure for this text type. I pulled a model off the Net which consisted of four parts: intro – summary – critical assessment – conclusion. I knew the critical assessment section would probably crash and burn, which it has in the reviews I’ve read so far. It’s ended up being an extended version of the summary, and with a few exceptions, I don’t expect to see anything else. I’ve already had one instance of plagiarism this year, and I’ve now had another. The review in question started off ineptly enough as Plagiarising Penny (aka Snoozy Suzy) commenced by announcing that she was going to talk about some graphic novel. Did I say, “Write me a speech”? No, but don’t let that stop you from being an intellectual embarrassment. I had doubts about the verb tenses in the fi...

Less lunch. We were supposed to have switched to our new timetable this week. After last night’s meeting, Mr V gave me my new timetable, which was new for less than 24 hours. The time of the first class has now been restored to its usual insanely early hour, but it also means that ten minutes have been lost from lunchtime, which is annoying because the actual time available starts looking quite cramped once I lop about five to ten minutes off just to get back to the office. In addition to that, I’m going to have two extra classes a week to make up for the time lost because classes are now so short. I don’t have a huge problem with that apart from the extra classes being a.) last thing on Thursday and Friday, and b.) standalone classes. Forty minutes is enough to do very little at most. I certainly don’t want pre-AL β last thing in the afternoon. It was observation day today. I thought, overall, that things went a little better, but I’d say the vegetables did nothing when...

What caused it this time? It was morning exercise time when my eyesight started going funny. This was a serious migraine, which came on rapidly, and the aura lasted for some time. What caused it? It could be another non-weekend which has been vacuumed up by preparation. It could be forthcoming observations. It could be the presence of the Reichsmarschal. There were hints of some potential problem. The top of my right shoulder was sore last night (although the migraine hit the left-hand side of my head), and my back is sore around my right shoulder blade. This morning my eyesight was a little too sharp. Even so, there doesn’t seem to be much I can do about these things. If the signs are there, what might stave off an attack? Paracetamol? Ibuprofen? Would it even be right to use such medicines in anticipation of a possible migraine? This latest bout of migraines (four this month) means that I’ve had the equivalent of one a month this year. This is a Bad Thing™. I’v...

It’s enough to send a chap east. Yesterday one of my colleagues who, in spite of the brevity of the term so far, has been vocal in his inclination to go to the airport and leap straight on the next plane flying out to Sanity, hinted that he’d made up his mind that enough was enough. Today he officially announced that he was buggering off at the end of term. His two reasons for departing were inadequate remuneration and the utter hopelessness of teaching the Upper Sixth. It seems that Mr Bradford has expenses and that what he’s paid doesn’t cover it. I can understand why he’d find the Upper Sixth soul-destroying. That’s the reason I won’t go near them. Do we not get paid enough? Frankly, no. I may get paid a Western salary, but I’ve just reached the average salary in the UK and if I did have expenses, I wouldn’t be earning enough. I also feel insulted that it’s going to take me another six years to earn what my colleague who teaches economics is currently paid. It’s not that ...

“What? There’s meant to be a difference?” The news today was depressing and stress-inducing. The boss is going to be absent for a couple of weeks for personal reasons. In the meantime, Reichsmarshal (spelling?) Göring is going to be temporarily taking over. The Reichsmarshal is an inflexible bastard who, it seems, can’t really tell the difference between pupils and colleagues. The two classes have simply merged into the category “pupils”. I don’t especially like school teachers because when the government banged on about education, universities still suffered from a financial kicking so that instead of lecturing, I’ve ended up at the arse-end of teaching, viz. EFL teaching. I shan’t repeat my usual laments since I only have time to write a short entry, but I think the Reichsmarshal is like a lot of school teachers: the government said education often enough and these people thought they were important. The more egotistical ones strut up and down in their jackboots, seek high...

Are we feeling thick today? When the vultures… I mean, AQMs descend next week, they’re meant to be observing Ass 2. There are some good students in the class, but as a group they’re a bunch of lazy asses. I’m trying to guide them through review writing in such a way that they’ve done a kind of first draft before they… All right, I won’t pretend that their first draft won’t be all glued together in pretence that it’s also their final draft. But the idea was that they’d build up an article step-by-step. They’d do all the donkey work first, and then give me something which rises above the usual level of idiocy which classes seem determined to produce. I do have one other “trick” up my sleeve, but I’m not sure it’ll really work. But that’s not going to happen even although I’ve warned them that this particular type of writing is going to be in the test.

Let school stay at school. Although I think the migraine yesterday is connected with my stiff shoulder, which, in turn, is my current physical manifestation of stress (ten years ago it was tingling on the left-hand side of the back of my neck), I also wonder to what extent it may have been triggered by having to do some planning at home. Instead of arsing around online or in some other fashion, I was putting together a couple of Powerpoint presentations. If my Friday wasn’t so inimical to preparing for the following week, I’d leave school behind; but this year, I can’t. If I don’t do something at the weekend, then I won’t be properly prepared for the week after. The problem is that when I should be relaxing, I’m getting bogged down in Powerpoint presentations, my weekend is disappearing, and I’m being paid even less per hour. I’m sure that subconsciously my necessary diligence is probably having a negative effect on my mental well-being as I try to get a little ahead of the ...

Another bloody migraine. I’m back in the office between classes this morning, looking at some Learner Diaries, when my eyes start going funny. This is the third migraine in about two to three weeks. Why did it happen? Not sure. It may be a consequence of a sore shoulder and lying too hard on it when I had a snooze yesterday afternoon. Fortunately this was a mild attack, but it leaves me with one anti-nausea tablet and two months before I’m likely to be seeing a real doctor. Migraines don’t always advertise beforehand and I have had others which came calling when I otherwise felt perfectly all right.

I’m bashing out a Powerpoint presentation. I don’t get paid well enough to work after school or at weekends, but because the distribution of classes throughout the week this year is crap (viz. insufficient time between most classes), I’ve started bringing textbooks home at the weekend and doing some preparation in advance. I shouldn’t be spending most of my Saturday doing such things. I shouldn’t be spending any of my Saturday doing such things because, as we all know, the more we do, the less recompense we’re getting. Employers appear to believe our jobs are our lives. No, they’re not. I don’t hate my job exactly, but I don’t like it, either. I do it out of necessity. When I was one of the long-term unemployed, I found I didn’t need a job to keep myself gainfully occupied because I had other things to do. It’s a pity those other things weren’t things from which I could earn a living. I didn’t spend my days slacking off relaxing myself [sic! fnarr fnarr!], but as I said, no one ...

Thou which art so annoying. In theory, I’m meant to be objective when I’m marking students’ writing. I do try to be as objective as possible by not letting student A’s odious tickdom blind me to the merits of their drivel. I try to give all of them advice which will lead to their improvement even although I have no vested interest in any of them doing well and succeeding. I have a colleague who admits that she has to stop marking writing because the cretinous nonsense which she sees infuriates her so much that if she doesn’t stop, she’ll go apoplectic. I know how she feels. This afternoon I persisted in finishing off some writing so that it wouldn’t be hanging over my head this weekend. I really wanted to go home, but I waded my way through the lack of a decent opening sentences, an absence of evidence, and want of appointment decorum to get these gems out of the way. Perhaps my expectations are misleading me. One of the two Pre-AL classes is quite good, and the other, a...

A little off colour. I’ve been making more use of Powerpoint presentations this year. I’ve largely resisted such idiocy over the past decade, but I’ve been a little more concerted in my efforts this term. I’ve been trying to follow best practice, viz. not overlarding each slide with info, or if I do have a lot of ground to cover, it comes in bits and pieces so as not to overwhelm the little darlings. So far my slides tend to be black-on-white, but I find them quite noisome to the eye, and in an attempt to make them less glaring, I threw a little colour into today’s Powerpoint presentation. I don’t stray into the world of colour theory without some basic knowledge so that I know orange-on-green looks naff, but I didn’t have the time to iron out the aesthetic kinks. At the moment, I’m wondering whether three shades of a colour might work best in some combination such as dark 1 -light-dark 2 , or two light shades and one dark. I want something inoffensive to the eye...

And the rest are a blight. It’s been awhile since I dropped by because Internet access has mostly been stifled since the start of term. Pre-AL 1 continues to be one of the best classes I’ve had barring two three dunces, a loud-mouth, and a huffy girl who is perpetually bored and will never be interested. Pre-AL 2 has some good students, but there are just too many idiots who can barely string half a brain cell together. The latter will ruin the class and then make things even worse next year. My mystery this year is Χάρις, who may actually be stupid, or could, in fact, be quite clever, but is rebelling against being sent to a school where most of the instruction is in English. I don’t know what the deal with her is, but I suspect that if she knows she’s wound you up, she’s achieved what she set out to do. A typical class for her is to looked bored and huffy, to put her head down on the desk, to doodle, and ultimately to do little or nothing. On the other hand, Ζ...

The effects of AQMs. Yeah, they’re coming at the end of the month. I know they’re meant to be useful, but they aren’t. They induce more stress and anxiety than good. They have expectations, but they’re rather opaque about them. They come with assumptions. They come with trite phrases such as “Everyone has their own style of teaching”. They don’t bother to mention that they think their way is best and can’t fathom doing this any other way. They want classes to be interesting and exciting, but quite forget that starter – activity – plenary classes are boringly repetitive just as the Basic Model, which I got when I did that EFL course about six years ago, was good for one or two classes, but disengaging thereafter. But we have to play the game. We have to be subservient and stressed and anxious and deprived of a decent amount of sleep. We have to put up with some annoying colleagues who play the game to be highly proficient. I want to be adequate, competent, and left al...