Weekends exist for a reason

Let school stay at school.

Although I think the migraine yesterday is connected with my stiff shoulder, which, in turn, is my current physical manifestation of stress (ten years ago it was tingling on the left-hand side of the back of my neck), I also wonder to what extent it may have been triggered by having to do some planning at home. Instead of arsing around online or in some other fashion, I was putting together a couple of Powerpoint presentations.

If my Friday wasn’t so inimical to preparing for the following week, I’d leave school behind; but this year, I can’t. If I don’t do something at the weekend, then I won’t be properly prepared for the week after.

The problem is that when I should be relaxing, I’m getting bogged down in Powerpoint presentations, my weekend is disappearing, and I’m being paid even less per hour. I’m sure that subconsciously my necessary diligence is probably having a negative effect on my mental well-being as I try to get a little ahead of the game.

I have generally avoided additional responsibilities in my job partly because the last thing I need is a.) something which is likely to give me more migraines, and b.) might be mistaken for someone who gave a flying fuck. A friend of mine who lectures at Manchester went for promotion, got it, and found that his chalice could not be more poisoned. I observe my HOD and wonder where he gets the time to do everything.

Obviously ambition suits certain types of personalities and mine is definitely not one of them. I once did a psychometric test which said that I was a monitor-evaluator, and suspect if I did the same test again, I’d still be the same thing. Either that or cynical old bastard. On the other hand, Rupert Bear, whom I mentioned in a previous post, is ambitious whether he knows he is or not.

But ambition is like sport or 19th century novels: just because other people like them doesn’t mean the rest of us have to.