Do you even know what the historic present is?

Or how much more intelligent I am than you?

I had the Ass classes write a review because it’s one of the InterBac text types which they might have to reproduce in the exam. I don’t know if there’s an official structure for this text type. I pulled a model off the Net which consisted of four parts: intro – summary – critical assessment – conclusion.

I knew the critical assessment section would probably crash and burn, which it has in the reviews I’ve read so far. It’s ended up being an extended version of the summary, and with a few exceptions, I don’t expect to see anything else.

I’ve already had one instance of plagiarism this year, and I’ve now had another. The review in question started off ineptly enough as Plagiarising Penny (aka Snoozy Suzy) commenced by announcing that she was going to talk about some graphic novel. Did I say, “Write me a speech”? No, but don’t let that stop you from being an intellectual embarrassment.

I had doubts about the verb tenses in the first paragraph and replaced a couple with the corresponding past forms. Verb tenses get readily confused with sentences starting “The cat was…”, but only until the first conjunction (typically “and” or “but”) when the verb becomes present tense. But to resume my tale, I realised that the present was quite natural, and suddenly I felt like I was reading a blurb.

I did not have time for a more detailed search, but I found that the first body paragraph of the review ripped off quite a lot of an online product description of the work in question.

Plagiarising Penny is a lazy piece of work who thinks that class time is snoozing time. I don’t know whether she thinks this because

1. she believes she knows it all.
2. she knows none of it and can’t be bothered putting in the effort.
3. she abhors the thought of having some servant keep her awake during snoozy time.
4. she thinks it’s neither TOEFL nor IELTS and therefore need not pay any attention to it.
5. she thinks I’m there to entertain her.

She’s not overtly disruptive, but her attitude has a decidedly negative impact because of the contempt she exudes for the class.

[Edited for an oversight. Must proofread.]