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FH5, Series 52, Week 3

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Treasure hunt. Burnout near start to the test track, with the treasure chest in Playa Azul. ¶ Should treasure hunts remain in FH6? I think the problem is with the whole economy of the Forzathon Shop, where the money is rare, and initially difficult to acquire, which can be frustrating when the car may be one that probably won’t become available for a long time afterwards. The treasure hunt is a nice early-game boost, but if you play the game long enough, you’re only doing it for the playlist (and #ForcedEngagement). The weekly challenge put me in the Lotus Exige S for the first time in ages. The challenges were the usual straightforward sort of thing. Move along, nothing to see here. I must go back to the Exige and see what I can do with it. Eventlab (1). Woodsman’s Wonderland . B700 retro rally. (Not again.) Marks off for an overlapping layout on the mini-map. A lot of marks off for a hairpin that vanishes into the background because it’s impossible to see where the turn actually is. ...
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FH5, Series 52, Week 2

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The treasure hunt seems to be a matter of doing the stadium circuit inside the track, not starting from outside. The treasure is up near the tunnel to the bridge. I needed it because 130,000+ FPs is utter penury these days. We got the Bentley Turbo R and the Bentayga as gifts. Some players might think we’re being rewarded for our loyalty to the brand. Others might think we’ve got landed with two more chubby paperweights. The weekly in the KTM X-Bow wasn’t worth commenting about. Make up your own comments. “I liked the bit when the car stopped, and the driver got out, and it was a sexy lady in a bikini made of seat material from the Bentley Turbo R.” Eventlab (1). The Mayan Discovery . O hairy-testicled gods, why have ye inflicted this ghastly thing on us again? Eventlab (2). Royal Palms International . Decent layout (barring a couple of overly tight corners) and length, good use of props, sodding awful road surface (which can’t be blamed on the creator). The SWS was one-third excellent...
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FH5, Series 52, Week 1

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No treasure hunt again and these days 130,000 FPs or so just doesn’t feel sufficient. What are you trying to do to me, game? Turn me into some pauper? I’ve a good mind to take you out the back of the chemical sheds and thrash you with a soft pair of lady’s undies. However, lady’s knickers aside, I started with the weekly in the 1994 Mazda MX-5 Miata which cause no real problems because I almost certainly used the very car that I used on the previous occasion. Rivals in the 2023 911 GT3 RS was a doddle. I dislike the Porsche Dakar (remember, kids, it’s pronounced “Rallye”), but survived in spite of its slidey ways. Another week with a single Eventlab race. Forza: Warthog Rally is a Halo-themed map, although it’s the only Eventlab race in which I’ve ever seen these props used. It sort of resembles Copper Canyon Cross Country . PR stunts. I one-shotted the TB somehow even though I haven’t done it in ages and took a slightly off line. Rubbish SWS. I also one-shotted the SZ on dirt without...
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FH5, Series 51, Week 4

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I started with the weekly in the 2003 VW Golf. I was all right for the events apart from the jump, and as I didn’t want to rebuild my B-class Golf, I bought a new one for that and the speed skills. I got a horn for taking a photo of the 2003 BMW M5 on the bridge. Now I can be as irritating as all the annoying 12-year-olds who insist on blasting me with their stupid horns in races or outside of them. [ You don’t need a horn to be irritating . –ed.] I one-shotted the DZ in my BMW X6 and got a one-third very good SWS. I thought the TB in the crappy old Beetle might be a pain, but I also managed to one-shot it. The strategy is to head towards the road to the right and then go across the sand which is sparsely covered with plants. Rubbish SWS. The ST took a couple of goes because I needed to lower the aero settings on the car. One-third good SWS. Eventlab. VW Rally . Well, half true because about half the circuit is tarmac. Quite a good use of the German flag throughout the course as a deco...
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FH5, Series 51, Week 3

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Treasure hunt. MB C63, Mulegé jump. Treasure near the drowned church. I now have over 130,000 FPs. And here’s something which, I hope, FH6 might address in some way. We only have a limited number of skill points, which are easily wiped out, but a grind to recover. Perhaps we could use FPs to buy skill points or something else in the game. The weekly challenge in the 2008 BMW Z4 M was a straightforward affair. Is FH6 going to persist with the Festival playlist? FH5 slightly fixed things by ditching the vexatious Showcase Remixes from FH4 and removing some of the grindier elements of the playlist, but the consensus seems to be that the playlist needs to go. Took a picture. Got a red suit. Gods, do I look like a sleazy lounge lizard or what. PR stunts. I tried the DS with the 2003 Porsche 911, but immediately expected that it wouldn’t have the power. I took a guess that it required an engine swap, but I also added AWD and off-road race tyres because of the terrain. These were good ideas, ...
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FH5, Series 51, Week 2

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The weekly in the Audi S1 was unremarkable. I suspect I haven’t touched the car since the last time this was the weekly challenge. I went on to the PR stunts. I one-shotted the DS and got a one-third good SWS. I took a guess that you were supposed to use the Taycan ST for the ST on the motorway. I well exceeded the target speed for a one-third good SWS. And then the wheels fell off with the ultra annoying Barranco TB. Which complete bloody noddy thought that starting a TB with a bunch of concealed rocks was a good idea? Or the path through the trees at the bottom? This was one of those PR stunts which quickly becomes a monstrous time suck, and natürlich, I had to be rewarded with a crappy SWS. Took a picture at the airfield and got an emote. O precious gift of the game, how others shall admire me for my Cool Moves™. [ Be quiet, you blithering ass . –ed.] Eventlab. Caldera Mountain Climb . Use of props, very good. Circuit, good on a mostly flat surface, but not so great on the side of a...
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FH5, Series 51, Week 1

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Treasure hunt. Drive along the motorway. Do the speed zone? Or just drive through the cloverleaf junction? Who knows. I completed the task and found that I just about had 127,000 FPs. The weekly in the 2012 MB SLK AMG was unproblematic. I even managed to drift the car for the skill points in spite of it being RWD. Normally, I end up spinning out sooner or later in such cars. Only one Rivals event this month round Mulegé in the Porsche 911 GT3, a car which is all right stock. As I hurtled towards the DS in the MB AMG 45, I sensed that the car needed max. engine to complete the task. My instincts were right, and I had to rebuild the car. One-third good SWS. I wasn’t surprised when it took me three attempts to do the SZ in the 2015 Audi TT before crashing into a rock before the irony of the SWS, which included a 2010 Audi  TT RS. It also took three attempts to complete the DZ in the BMW 325i for which I got a two-thirds excellent SWS. Only one Eventlab this week. Shipyard Autocross B...
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