Faster than a speeding Cynic

More powerful than a Presocratic.

Aristotle, Rousseau and Kant are going for a walk when Rousseau notices that a slave girl (wearing a sexy bikini, of course) swimming in the lake has found herself in difficulty. Rousseau has merely made the observation, but is otherwise not inclined to endanger himself. Kant jumps into the water, but finds himself in difficulty in short order. Aristotle rips the branch off a tree, and throws it unerringly to Kant who then extricates the slave girl, and they return to the bank safe and sound. Aristotle praises Kant for his intentions, but is less forgiving about his lapse in common sense. His good intentions just weren't enough. Rousseau, meanwhile, says nothing and merely cops a sneaky feel.

Who's the hero?

Overall, if we're scoring this on points, then Aristotle. Kant comes second for attempting to be heroic. Rousseau doesn't exactly lose, because he's most likely to score with the slave girl afterwards. That is, of course, unless Mme du Châtelet catches up with him.

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