FH5, Series 23, Week 4

The treasure hunt was to smash ten things with a GT car. The treasure is just near the Horizon Street Scene outpost, which was handy because I could then get specced up for the weekly.

The weekly challenge was driving the Lexus RC F. Although the photo task referred to some grey colour, the car didn’t have to be in that colour for it to be completed. I used the Marathon to complete the clean racing skills task, although it was overkill.

This is not the first time we’ve had to take a photo of this particular mural in Colinas Aridas – if I remember rightly. I knew it was somewhere and I knew it was nowhere near the part of the map which is labelled Colinas Aridas. It’s on the side of one of the buildings just south of the start of Cruce del Valle. This is the sort of pointless task that wastes my time because the area is so vaguely defined and as I’m never travelling in the right direction, I’m unfamiliar with the painting.

The Eventlab tiles were functioning this week. Mulegé Street Circuit Open was a variation on Mulegé made to look like a proper motor racing circuit. The SWS was utter rubbish – clothing. For Aeroplane Graveyard Circuit, the proviso was super saloons, but the track was a cross-country circuit with alt. paths. The reward was the Hoonigan Escort, but it feels like we only just got that as a recent prize. Last series?

PR stunts. The danger sign needs finesse. I started my run-up closer to the jump so that the Jesko wouldn’t go thudding into one of the temples. Not a difficult target, though, and the SWS was all right. There were no problems with the speed trap, but the SWS was lame. Once again, we had to do La Marisma for the trailblazer. I know what to do, but had to restart it several times because I kept messing up the first section. The SWS was about as good as it gets with the Shelby Daytona being worth CR15 million. Think of the money as compensation for every pathetic SWS I’ve ever had in the game.

I managed to survive to 9th place in the Eliminator, but wonder whether a Cholla ought to demonstrate quite the pace it did. Mind you, I was driving the Ferrari P4 which shouldn’t be an Eliminator car.

It was movie cars for Horizon Tour. I grabbed my 1957 Ferrari California (from which film? Something starring Steve McQueen?) and got two thirds and a second. One of the players may have been legit prestige 10 since they were about level 540. On the other hand, they were not the best driver. “Corners? I’ll let them slide,” said the player.

And then the seasonals. Number 1 Rule was Street Scene (bollocks!) I thought the 1987 Ford Sierra Cosworth might’ve been all right… No, I got absolutely annihilated by some drivatar in the MB Hammer. I switched to the Hammer which is one of those cars with the least scope for upgrades and thus the worst handling, but it was fast. The prize was a Mk. II Jag. (shades of The Sweeney). All the races were in daylight, which makes a nice change from tentative driving in the dark.

On the other hand, The Little Things was all road racing in the dark in classic rally cars. I opted for the 1973 Alpine A110 which is an old favourite from FH4. The drivatars kept showing improbable turns of speed, including the Volvo 252. Annoying.

The HW PR stunt posed no problem, and the SWS was one-third excellent.

I went into ironic mode for Feel the Loops, driving the Cayman GT4 to win a Cayman GT4 in two of the races. In the middle race (the overused/only cross country one), I opted for the Macan, which even in mid S1-class waved farewell to the opposition.

The PR stunt in Sierra Nueva is one of the most difficult drift zones in the game, and here I must admit defeat. My PB is better than the target, but was done in an S1-class car. I started with the Hoonigan Mustang, but that got flung about too much. I tried the Hoonigan RS300. Same again. I tried the Hoonigan Escort Cosworth because it was just inside S2 class. I tried the FD BMW M2 and then the FD BMW 325i. The problem with this drift zone is that you need to drift along every inch of it. It’s incredibly twisty and narrow, and unless you can exert very fine throttle control, next to impossible in an overpowered car. I tried and tried and tried, but it was all a waste of time. FH4 gets this right by leaving it to me to choose which car to use for the weekly PR stunts.

I don’t think I was in the mood for the terrible physics of Sierra Nueva and the iffy honesty of the drivatars in Nitty Gritty. I vacillated between the Honda S2000 and the S2000CR, but wonder whether we were meant to use the NSX or the Honda Civic. (I’ll check these two later and probably find that they have the least amount of scope for upgrades.) Numerous restarts and utter frustration watching some drivatar in a red Honda Civic go unbeatable robot on me. And all this was for some clothing. Gods, is this Barbie goes racing for sartorial upgrades?

Having been so frustrated and annoyed in Rally Adventure, I decided to attempt the Trial which was a series of trail races. (Aside: note that unlike too many people, I’m not getting “trial” and “trail” confused; no, I have other ways of making myself look foolish.) I opted for the 2013 Audi RS7 Sportback, which is another occasional dirt-racing favourite of mine from FH4. I came 5th in the first race with no chance of catching the lead drivatar, but we were victorious. I led the charge in the second race, taking the lead briefly and coming second, and that was the Trial done. One of these days I’m going to bite off more than I can chew with this.

And that’s effectively the end of Series 23. I have to say that Porsche’s 75th anniversary was a missed opportunity because a.) the Taycan isn’t representative of the company and b.) it’s also the 60th anniversary of the 911. Now don’t stop me because I know I’m right, but I thought the 911 was an iconic Porsche. No, I don’t want another 2019 911 GT3 RS, but we could’ve been given, say, the 2021 911 GT3 or the 911 Sport Classic.