FH5, Series 38, Week 4

The treasure hunt was a picture of a car with the big pyramid in Teotihuacán in the background. This week the treasure was at the end of the off ramp from the upper part of the maze into which I hop I’ve indifferently ventured for the final time.

I haven’t driven the Jaguar E-Type in ages, but the tasks were straightforward.

I one-shotted the speed trap in the sketchy Monza SP2. Two-thirds good SWS. The speed zone was as ever an enormous, time-wasting, sodding pain in the arse. I tried various cars, but as usual the real issue was that last short turn which I was forever 1kmh off until randomly, the Forza gods permitted my F50 (S1 878) to attain the necessary speed. One-third very good SWS, but that’s hardly compensation for the amount of time it took.

Eventlab (1). Green Plains Motor Raceway was a good-sized, old-style circuit with a nice, sweeping layout. None of the frequent 2nd gear/3rd gear stuff we’ve seen in other Eventlab races. One-third very good SWS, and one-third good.

Eventlab (2). Slice and Dice. I was in the 2003 Ford Focus (random selection). Another decent circuit with good use of props to create a coherent theme. One-third good SWS.

I took my dirt-tuned Holden Torana (some weird tuning settings; What was I thinking? No idea) and retuned what I had for road racing after an iffy first race in Groove it or Lose it. It worked even though it was actually a dirt build.

Fit for Purpose had me worried because B700 UTVs and Buggies was unlikely to end well. The only suitable vehicle I had (without rebuilding something else) was the Can-Am Maverick. What were the drivatars in? The Can-Am Maverick. What would they have been driving if I’ve been in one of the Sierra Cars vehicles? The Can-Am Maverick, all busy cheating. I kept being outrun at the start of races, but would grind my way through the field. This is still an area Horizon games can’t get right. I would like to have tried a 700R, but baulked at the idea because they’re light and apt to get flung about.

Who thought that Nova Flair, A800 unlimited off-road in dirt races, was a good idea? The obvious choice again was Extreme E. All right, the only valid choice. If I’d chosen anything else, I would’ve struggled.

I made good progress in the Eliminator before I managed to find someone to put me out of my misery.

I quit my first attempt to do the Trial because the player in first managed to shove me out of a checkpoint as we were going through the River Scramble section of Sierra Verde. It looked like the team was going to lose anyway. I restarted and managed a 2nd in my Alpine A100 from the front row of the human grid and came 2nd in Rocosa from the back row. Team wins, all sorted.

Took me a couple of attempts to do the HW PR stunt in the 1987 Skyline, which I’d chosen at random. One-third excellent SWS and one-third good.

Watch out for Hazards was another of those irksome hazard race series. In essence, two of the races were cross country and one was road racing. I used my 2017 Raptor for all three even though it was really only good for the first two, which had to include that Canyon Drop Sprint with its drivatar cheat zones. In fact, the Raptor was all right through the water. A third 1965 Pontiac GTO.

I one-shotted the RA PR stunt in that Nissan Twin Turbo thing. Rubbish SWS.

B700 Lancia road racing in Straight and Narrows. I looked blankly at the selection of cars and picked the cheese wedge, which I then had to rebuild AWD because of a lack of proper tyres, which meant no grip. Probably there was a better choice, but I had no desire to fiddle with various different builds. Basically, this was more cripple car races. A third 1965 Alfa Romeo Giulia.

I happened to see a video about Extreme E on YouTube a couple of days ago, which made me wonder whether we may not see the missing vehicles because the licence may have expired along with the race series. We’ll have to see whether they all appear as part of the Backstage Pass.

It was always a stupid idea to have a dozen of the same vehicle with a different livery for each instead of one vehicle with a dozen liveries. Another thing that came from the video was the audience for the race series. If Extreme E was meant to promote environmentalism, it wasn’t the sort of thing that environmentalists were likely to be interested in, and the message was probably wasted on motorsport fans. FH6 might include Extreme H, but I hope not.

Extreme E seems to have been an instance of marketing in the game like all too many EVs (and Chinese cars), which seem to be dying at the moment. Harry Metcalfe’s done a video about the government trying to push EVs, but failing to grasp the practicalities of life, and Tim “Shmee150” Burton posted a recent video about how the price of second-hand Taycans has collapsed, and the issues which manufacturers face forcing (rich) people to buy cars they really don’t want to get the car they do want.

Perhaps FH6 will spare us marketing campaigns, but I don’t see it happening.