FH5, Series 26, Week 4

I won, and everyone else is a DNF.

A most curious tale to be told this week of my unexpected triumph in Horizon Open. But as usual, we start with the treasure hunt, which was a matter of amassing skill points until the task was complete. Easy money again.

The weekly in the Meyers Manx was straightforward. I heard from the forums that there was some issue with the danger sign challenge, but I did three or four and completed that.

The first Eventlab event, Hell’s Mulegé City Circuit, has potential, but the wrong weather, and we didn’t need the lampposts down the middle of the track. I also didn’t need the utterly rubbish SWS.

The other Eventlab event, Vulcan Raceway, was another circuit with potential, but the prize was rubbish.

I managed to one-shot all the PR stunts in my 2022 VW Golf. The SWSs were all one-third good.

The photo. The answer is Guidelines. Yes, that’s where portrait mode is, just where no one would think to look for it because it should be under Orientation. If I hadn’t visited the forums, I might’ve discovered this by chance, but would’ve got very frustrated first. Once again, the game was happy to register the snap even though by the time I’d done, the church was no longer in shot.

Field Trip was a pain in the arse. I started with the Abarth 595 because it’d done quite well in some other event not so long ago. I got through Dunas Blancas (just), but it was clear that the Peels and the Isetta were going to be an issue, which they were round Bahía de Plano. The Isetta was like a rocket on rails with ginger up its arse, and the Peels were much the same at the start of races. I abandoned Bahía de Plano and switched to the Morris Minor which proved to be better than I was expecting, taking me to a sound win round Emerald Circuit. All this for an FJ40.

The Eliminator, Part 1. Come back later. I went off to the Hot Wheels Theme Park.

I absolutely one-shotted the HW PR stunt in my 2022 Golf. It’s always satisfying to smash the target for a PR stunt. It’s not satisfying to be rewarded with a rubbish SWS.

S1 class super saloons for the seasonal, Fastest Car in the Sky. I was thinking about the BMW M2 (the 2016 one) or the M5 (the 2018 one), but I thought I ought to have a look at the rest, and my eyes alighted on the WP Porsche Taycan. I remember using this car when the expansion came out and as indifferent as I am to EVs, I suspected that it’d spank the drivatars. I was right. In fact, there were times in races where the car nearly broke my own speed record which is something like 483kmh. The reward was an FD Mustang. Nice livery, shame about the handling.

I also managed to one-shot the speed zone in Sierra Nueva. It was that sodding annoying one in the northeast corner, but it was all right in a B-class car.

I was dreading Pick ‘n’ Mix. S2-class dirt racing in whatever cars. Having learnt that the FE 911 GT3 RS was eligible, I’d added a little extra spice. The field was all the least dirt racers that you can imagine, and once I’d managed to punch my way through the drivatars, I managed to pull ahead by a decent margin. If only the reward had been something desirable and not that bloody awful, burnt-orange VW Beetle.

I went back to the mainland to see whether I could do the Horizon Tour, and in spite of being disconnected the first time, I joined a session of B700 dirt racing in retro saloons. I had my ready-to-race Holden Torana. I was expecting the usual in that I’d pass all the drivatars, but languish at the back of the players. It went very differently.

The first race was La Selva, where I found myself rapidly in the lead shortly after the turn onto the dirt section, and over the course of next three laps, as I approached the start-finish line, I could see players and drivatars on the other side of the map; and if the race had been a bit longer, I would probably have lapped the player at the back. By the end of the race I was 25 seconds ahead of the player in 2nd, while the whole rest of the field was DNF’ed.

The next race was Cordillera. Another player quickly took the lead and then seemed to choke because I took the lead from him soon afterwards and won by such a margin that everyone else was DNF’ed this time.

When we got to El Pípila, I was predicting that this peculiar state of affairs couldn’t last. I’ve been in other races where I’ve done quite well in one event only to have everyone else walk all over me in the next one. But not this time. Once again, I won by a sufficient margin to DNF everyone else. I don’t expect this will happen again any time soon.

The Eliminator, Part 2. This time I was able to join a session, lurk out of the way, and complete this tiresome task.

I’m still debating what car to use in the Trial. The 1993 Skyline has the best PWR of the eligible cars in my garage which are ready to go. The Nismo GT-R LM is tempting. I’ve built a RWD Porsche 944, although the PWR lags behind the Nissans. I’ll probably have a go at the Trial tomorrow.