Occasional Tales

The treasure hunt was easy money with the Polaris < insert particular model here > easily dealing with the speed trap. The 2012 Mini was a bit floaty for the weekly challenge and really needed more aero. I had to “cheat” Rivals by spending up another previously unused Street Scene event. The gods alone know what I’d do if I was a Rivals try-hard. I used the Apollo IE to do the PR stunts. Took me a couple of goes to get the Tulum speed trap, which got me an SWS which was one-third good and two-thirds shite. I one-shotted the East Resort speed trap. Another one-third good SWS. Took me three attempts to do the speed zone and utterly smash my PB. I know wat to do, but it’s a case of doing it. A third SWS that was one-third good. There’s definitely a theme this week. I took a photo. I got another stupid item of clothing. Another week with a single Eventlab. Anni’s Harbour was another night race (why?). Good props, but not the most interesting circuit with straights typically follow...

Ericship111 posted a video about a prediction that FH6 is going to be set in Germany. The source claimed a high degree of reliability, but on scrutiny, that turned out to be wishful thinking. I wouldn’t object to Germany as a location myself. One of the comments on the video observed that Assetto Corsa Evo is going to have a map based in Germany, but if PGG and Turn10 have already been working on Germany as a setting, it’s too late in the day to change that. Also, their petty levels of secrecy mean that if Kunos had no idea where FH6 might be set, then their choice is their choice without taking unpredictable external factors into account. It does set up an interesting conundrum because ACE may be in competition with FH6 as an open-world game. But we’ve never had a Horizon game in Asia, Africa or South America. The twisty courses in the RA expansion made me wonder whether this was testing for Japan where (and I’m assuming this) the roads may mostly be mad spaghetti. I’ve seen China men...

I’m glad I did some preparation for the weekly challenge in the 1932 Ford De Luxe. Unsurprisingly, this is not a car I ever bother with much. It turns out it’s one of those cars in A class that can hit 1,000hp, but the moment you upgrade the tyres, it flies into S1 class. My first build was undrivable as I was in stock tyres and as I was attempting the danger sign at the airfield, I chucked on AWD and off-road race tyres, which worked nicely. The jump does need a decent run-up, which can be done by going up the hill and using the extra momentum. The only problem was that I had to buy a new De Luxe because the first task was to spend CR50,000 on upgrades. At least it’s a cheap car and I didn’t have to do the HW seasonal to get a new one. (Aside: that seasonal would be a bloody waste of time for such a cheap reward.) At least the showcase remix was the most familiar of them. I got some ridiculous clothing that’d make me look like one of those poor unfortunates who stands outside a shop t...

I started with the weekly challenge because there was no treasure hunt this week. (I was most disappointed and will be writing strongly worded letters to my MP and the paper.) Honestly, the Morgan 3-Wheeler is a silly novelty car. I know Tim “Shmee150” Burton is supposed to have one on order, but it seems to have fallen off the radar. It has sod-all tyres and sod-all tuning options. I have one and want sod-all others. But instead of a treasure hunt, we had a photo. I won a horn. Top prize, game. I didn’t do so well with the PR stunts this week. I used the Evo VI for the speed zone, which needs a longer run-up from the fields to the south so that you build up enough speed to counter the slowdown on the turns. Crappy SWS. I did manage to one-shot the danger sign and got a one-third good SWS. Eventlab (1). Matterhorn Raceway . I used the FWD Lynk and Co. Cyan Racing car for this one. A mistake because it was a bit too understeery. I ought to have gone with RWD. Good layout and cheesy use ...

The igloos for the treasure hunt are in the south east corner of the stadium, and the treasure itself is awkwardly placed on the railway line that runs along Copper Canyon. I had to do Nissan Eazy because that was the only way to get the 2024 Nissan Z Nismo for the weekly challenge. I used my 2000 Nissan Silvia Spec-R, which struggled to escape from the drivatars in any of the races, even Estadio . Normally, it’s a decent B-class car, but the drivatars were having none of it. Annoying little buggers. The 2024 Nissan Z Nismo is the Z we ought to have had. Tuning 1/9 (pathetic). Good range of perks, but nothing outstanding. Too many gears stock. I built it to mid-S1 class. Launch on a keyboard is a pain, but once it gets going, it carves its way through the field. I can’t see the point of the Z with this in the game. Overall, it’s a decent modern sports car. Things didn’t go so well with the PR stunts. I used the Holden Torana. I underestimated the run-up for the danger sign and got an u...

And Horizon Open. Yes, I know I said I wasn’t going to bother, but I was also curious to see how my Opel Manta might fare in the Trial. We started with Fuera del Camino , which I’ve never much liked. I started on the middle row of the human grid and came 3rd in spite of some atrocious cornering on the sharp turns. I was a bit too fast into the first one and think that I pulled away from the rest of the team because I wasn’t making such an arse of myself as they were. El Pípila was the same. Mid pack start and 3rd place. I could’ve taken 2nd because the player in second was incompetent at cornering (all of them), but as humanity was winning by a large margin and as there was no threat from the drivatars, I let him keep the place. I missed the previous set of Horizon Open races and started on the second row of the grid round Bahía de Plano . I came 4th in my 2021 911 GT3 because other players were busy botching corners. I was on the second row again for Vista del Mar . Some sliding into...

 Series 43 preview and the 2023 Porsche 911 Turbo S. As I guessed yesterday, the post outline Series 41 was on the forums this morning, The post also covered Series 42 and teased Series 43. The cars. A couple of estate cars. Not my favourite class, although there are one or two decent ones such as the Hammer Wagon. There ought to be one of those stupid phrases to go with estate cars saying, “Get orf moi laaand!” (Irate country sort.) The Nissan Z Nismo doesn’t really interest me. I find the Nissan Z to be a barge and not a worthy heir to its antecedents, and I suspect that, for example, the perks for both cars will be the same. It’s a pity they won’t bring back the Bentley FE from FH4 because that had racing pedigree. I don’t really see the point of adding some chunky luxury barge to the game. Bentley marketing? The BMW M5 CS does interest me. First new M5 since the 2018 model which in FH4 has the most wins of any car I’ve driven. And lastly, in Series 42, we have some ridiculous s...

I started the week with 50 Years of Porsche to get my hands on the 2023 Porsche 911 Turbo S. I went with the 2023 911 GT3 RS. Not the best driving in Reservorio , which is not a track I like. Marginally less irritating than Panorámica . Línea Costera went well enough, but as I’ve said before, I’ve never really gelled with these new sprint races. Sound win round Mulegé . The new car wins bonus points for having tunable third-party aero. Tuning 2/9, but if you shorten the gears overall, the top speed of the car increases. Perks are all right, but include the head-to-head one, which you have to unlock if you want the FP perk. There were no real issues with the Ariel Atom in the weekly challenge. I one-shotted all three PR stunts on the mainland. One one-third good SWS and the other two were rubbish. The word on the street has been that the treasure hunt was bugged, but I managed to complete it in my S2 998 F40 Competizione. Eventlab (1). Festival High Speed Circuit . This was a sort of ...

The treasure hunt required you to do an awesome burnout skill in the vicinity of the test track, and being suspicious, I went into the test track in case you were meant to do it there. No, apparently not. I did the weekly in the Lotus Exige, a car I rather like. No problems doing any of the tasks, and I got a good wheel spin after the race. I did the HA and probably got something utterly naff. I managed to one-shot all the PR stunts in the BMW X5 M. I got a one-third very good SWS from Mudflows . Paso Inferior gave me a one-third good SWS, and the SWS from La Marisma , which I’d been practising, spat in my face and called me a dog and a poltroon. The photo got me enough Brownie points to unlock the 2023 911 GT3 R. Tuning 8/9 (the exception is brakes). Perks are good, but you’re forced to unlock a wheel spin to get another race bonus (the result was rubbish). Quite a few engine swaps, but for the stock, there’s not a wide range of upgrades. I checked the painting options and found that...

Easy money. Because of the current regime (“You will attend prison all day!”), I’ve been doing much of the Festival playlist first thing in the morning and tidying up the rest in the afternoon. I had enough done this morning to get my hands on the Porsche Rallye(/Dakar) after the first few tasks. I drove round the oval track in under 20 seconds to win treasure, and should’ve stayed there to deal with the collectibles and the daily. Was this some scheme to get players to go racing round the least interesting track in the game? The weekly in the KTM X-Bow went relatively well apart from the race ( Descansar Dorado ) in which a cheating drivatar ran off into the distance. Damn your digital wheels, sir! I already knew that I wanted to use the GTC4 Lusso for the PR stunts. As the car is ridiculously overpowered, it was just the thing for the drift zones both of which I one-shotted and both of which yielded one-third very good and one-third excellent SWSs. I one-shotted the danger sign and g...

 I started with the photo since the daily was to go to the stadium anyway. I drove onto the H, took my picture, and got some cap which only an American could wear. Like a plaid shirt. Me in plaid shirt – a complete ass. (Ditto one of those ridiculous caps.) American in plaid shirt – immediately identifiable as an American. The weekly was in the 1993 Mazda MX-5 Miata. Hang on, is it last week again? 1990s? I did Marigold as the road race. I ended up sliding a lot because the surface was wet and the tyres were thinner than a 90s supermodel. It needed aero (I had such a suspicion), which would probably have helped a little. Yesterday I practised the PR stunts in the 2015 Audi TTS. I one-shotted the speed zone for a rubbish SWS. I one-shotted the trailblazer for a one-third good and one-third very good. And in the same vein, I one-shotted the drift zone more competently than when I practised it yesterday. Two-thirds good SWS. I liked the new 911 GT3 RS in Rivals. Very drivable. The 91...

The treasure hunt was easy money. I haven’t done that danger sign in ages, but by and large I only do the PR stunts that are included in the Festival playlist. I followed this with the weekly challenge in the Toyota Supra RZ. Yet another bloody night race. Portentous voiceover to black screen: In an age of darkness… Screen caption: The 1990s… I one-shotted the speed trap in my 1996 Chevrolet Impala, but had been practising ahead of the new season. A one-third good SWS. I one-shotted the speed zone as well for a rubbish SWS, and I one-shotted the trailblazer for a second one-third good SWS. I did Horizon Tour next and ended up in retro rally cars. I initially chose the GT70, but found it was tuned for road racing, and switched to the 1970s Escort rally car. 3rd place from the back row round Mangrove and watched the usually iffy cornering from my teammates. I was on the front row of the human grid for River Scramble and won the race probably because of the questionable cornering behind...

I started with the weekly in the 1997 Honda Civic Type R, being spared the treasure hunt. I did Mulegé as the road race and had a painful couple of first laps. The hard charger skill remains a mystery. I overlarded the car with power and somehow achieved this randomly achieved skill. For the first two PR stunts I went with the 1993 Nissan Skyline. For the jump, keeping to the road seemed best with early turn-in on that slight sharp right-hander ahead of the jump. The SWS was two-thirds excellent. I one-shotted the speed trap, following the road and being careful on the approach. Rubbish SWS. The game decided – as I tried to do the speed zone in vain – that it ought to go CTD on me. I restarted and switched to the ever reliable Nissan Pulsar for another rubbish SWS. I took a photo. I got a stupid horn. I ran down some VCR tapes and got another horn. I am a mediocre player. Hear me squeak! Eventlab (1). JCO Project Race 3 Airport . Another bloody night race, but excellent use of props a...

With a semi-slick excursion. A comment in a recent video by Alex “FailRace” Day had me thinking that I ought to see whether off-road race tyres are all they’re cracked up to be in dirt races. I started by doing five trail races on dirt tyres followed by the same five on off-road race tyres to see whether the latter had a significant effect on the times. I used my Fiat Abarth 131. PI S1 820 (dirt tyres) or S1 808 (off-road). 422hp, 915kg, PWR 0.461. Front 56%. Times in […] are my lead over the drivatars at the end of the race – where I remembered to note them. Baja California Dirt: 02:21.817 [+2] Off-road: 02:17.020 [+4] Barranca Dirt: 02:24.321 [+8] Off-road: 02:25.668 [+7; scrappy race somewhat skews this result] Tulum Dirt: 02:55.251 [+6] Off-road: 02:54.474 [+4; not such a great improvement] Cordillera Dirt: 02:54.062 [+4] Off-road: 02:50.844 [+5] Tapalpa Dirt: 02:15.293 [+8] Off-road: 02:15.983 [+8] The results are variable with off-road races tyres sometimes having a clear advanta...

No seasonals this week as I see no point in doing a bunch of races for cars that I have, have more than one of, and probably don’t want yet again. Also, with particular reference to this week, Street Scene is being overdone. I had to build the car from scratch for the treasure hunt only to pick a sketchy, fog-enshrouded Jungle Descent as the Street Scene race in a monstrously fast car with somewhat iffy handling. Another CR90,000. O thou veriest wit, game. Rather annoyingly I repainted one of my three Diablos before doing the weekly. I slightly altered the colour. Yet another Street Scene race. I chose Highland Climb which the Diablo aced even though the handling was rather dubious. I discovered that I have two Lotus Carltons and have driven neither. Took a picture. I’m sure the reward was something naff. Eventlab (1). Horizon Wave Circuit . Nighttime again. Props brilliant, but the circuit was bloody awful, not actually running back into itself, but looking like it was on the minima...

Treasure hunt. Drive ugly, fake Mustang from the 1990s. Win CR90,000. Oh, ha ha. Rivals. Subaru SVX round Emerald Circuit . Horrible gears stock. Then Chihuahua in the Soarer. Horrible gears and terrible handling. Both cars about as exciting as cold spam fritters on a grey Sunday morning. Weekly in the Ferrari F50. This is a car I like, but I think I need to rebuild it. No probs with the various tasks. I took a snap of the 22B-STi. I got some ghastly clothing that makes me look like one of those poor unfortunates outside shops handing out flyers or scaring small children in a vain attempt to seem cuddly. I did the Eliminator. Even got to 11th before someone provided me with the keys to my freedom. I think I might add this to my list of things to shun. Actually, I almost got timed out when I wandered into Guanajuato looking for a car drop, and the barrier went whizzing past me. I started the PR stunts in the Elise GT1, but switched to the overpowered Cerbera. I eventually managed to PB...

The treasure hunt was a picture of a car with the big pyramid in Teotihuacán in the background. This week the treasure was at the end of the off ramp from the upper part of the maze into which I hop I’ve indifferently ventured for the final time. I haven’t driven the Jaguar E-Type in ages, but the tasks were straightforward. I one-shotted the speed trap in the sketchy Monza SP2. Two-thirds good SWS. The speed zone was as ever an enormous, time-wasting, sodding pain in the arse. I tried various cars, but as usual the real issue was that last short turn which I was forever 1kmh off until randomly, the Forza gods permitted my F50 (S1 878) to attain the necessary speed. One-third very good SWS, but that’s hardly compensation for the amount of time it took. Eventlab (1). Green Plains Motor Raceway was a good-sized, old-style circuit with a nice, sweeping layout. None of the frequent 2nd gear/3rd gear stuff we’ve seen in other Eventlab races. One-third very good SWS, and one-third good. Eve...

In spite of the intolerable regime that’s been imposed on us, I managed to get the Festival playlist done today. This started with me wasting CR30,000 to unnecessarily upgrade the Lancer Evo VI to uncover the location of the treasure which was once again in the stadium (#ForcedEngagement). Not difficult to find by going to the first level and then jumping down to the chest. Weekly challenge. The BMW Isetta was not the same sort of pain that the Peel Trident was, but once again the class requirements weren’t exactly obvious for the jump. I went up the volcano and got it in two. From practice, I knew the Ranger T6 could do the speed zone. Some idiot player ruined my run-up by crashing into a traffic car, sending it across my path. The SWS was rubbish. I cheesed the drift zone in the new Ford Focus. Another rubbish SWS. The statue for the photo is off to one side of the airfield. I don’t know what I got for my pains. Probably something really stupid and pointless. And while we’re talking ...

Yesterday was terrible. Migraine because I was forced to do something I didn’t want to do. The derailleur of my bike got twisted into the rear wheel, which rendered the whole thing inoperable. It rained heavily as I was walking home from the station. Then this morning some colossal arse decided that the best time for setting off fireworks was between half five and six. It’s small wonder that I’ve not been in the best frame of mind today. I started with the treasure hunt in the Datsun 510. I did some jumps and got sent back to the stadium to get my reward. Again, #ForcedEngagement. I don’t care about the maze and don’t see the point of it. The weekly was in the 1971 Plymouth Barracuda. I have three somehow and thought I’d do a 0.35 build with one of the new ones. Net result: a car that wasn’t a lot different from my A-class Barracuda. I made the mistake of doing Jungle Descent as the Street Scene race, because it starts in fog. Eventlab (1). Circuit des Reines . I like the layout, but ...

I have a shitty Friday timetable, having English P1 with the A2s and English P10 with the A2s. I have a longish lunchtime (Future me: no, even that’s been screwed over) during which I can do some of the Festival playlist, but which in future I’m more likely to use for a much-needed nap unless someone fixes the timetable. In other words, I may not post anything till Saturday or Sunday, depending on how energetic I feel. (I see I said this last week. Well, I tend to forget such things at my age. #GeriatricGit.) We start as ever with the treasure hunt. I used the Audi E-Tron as my choice of annoying EV. The treasure had to be in the stadium maze, but there’s an easy cheat in that you can drive up a ramp near the entrance close to the chest and see from above where it’s stashed. Fast travel to safety afterwards. The weekly was horrid. Peel Trident? Ugh with bells on. I hope the weekly with the Isetta will be less painful. Eventlab. Only one this week, Meereen Creek Oasis , and the tile was...

With the return of the academic year I’m probably not going to be posting entries till sometime on Saturdays. I have a fair amount of time on Friday between lunchtime and my return to school to get much of the Festival playlist done, but I also have P1 and P10 classes and on some occasions, am likely to prefer a nap. The treasure hunt, as I discovered, wanted you to add a new part to your Ford Focus. I tried adding a part I’d already bought, but the game was having none of it. But in reality, I assume that this was another attempt to force players to use the Test Track which, I feel, has nothing practical to offer. I ended up doing a wreckage HA because there was one near the location of the treasure chest. The weekly was in the Alfa Romeo Giulia. Job done, but drag racing and drifting? The Audi S1 had no problems with the speed zones. I switched to the 2012 Mini JCW for the Trailblazer because in testing it had no problems hitting the target time and then some. What happened? I kept ...