FH5, Series 33, Week 4

I’ve been in my hot, sexy Portia this afternoon [You old perv! –ed.] … I mean, hot, sexy Porsche [You old perv! –ed.]

The treasure hunt seemed to be a matter of crashing the Chevrolet Impala into things until the game decided that enough was enough and gave me CR250,000.

The weekly in the Corvette E-Ray was easy money.

Eventlab (1). Eagle Forest Raceway. My choices of car were the BMW i8 or a stock (?) Lamborghini Gallardo Spider. I chose the latter. If you want to practise changing from 2nd to 3rd gear and back again, this was the race for you. Decent use of decorative elements, but the layout lacked flow. A one-third excellent and a one-third good SWS.

Eventlab (2). Emerald GP. My only real choice was the Hyundai i30N or the Clio Williams, and as I used the latter last week, I used the former to complete this event. I thought this was a decent medium-length circuit with good spacing of the technical sections.

I started the PR stunts in the Ferrari F40 Competizione. One-shotted the Northern speed trap and got an SWS that was one-third good. It took me a couple of goes to get Escarpment and the SWS was 100% very good. For the speed zone I switched to the Apollo IE, not because I thought it was a good idea, but because I had no idea which car might… Oh, it was one of those PR stunts that you have to PB and then some. Actually, the Apollo turned out to be an excellent choice because I was able to keep my speed up round the corners without losing grip. The SWS was terrible.

Photo. Clothing. My dry cleaning bill is astronomical. Gee, thanks, Game!

I used the 2018 911 GT2 RS for Picking Favourites, but should, I think, have driven the E-Ray instead. Again, I can’t say that my driving skills were of the highest calibre, although why does the game insist on annoyingly sharp early turns (cf. Edinburgh Station Circuit in FH4)?

I ended up in the Maserati GT S for Going the Distance mainly because it was already A800. I managed to do the Colossus in 17:39.758 and got my second E-Ray (having bought my first one).

The Horizon Tour was C-class pickups and 4x4s. My choice here was the 1975 Bronco or the International Scout. I preferred the latter, although I think it may have been rally specced. Stadium Cross Country. 1st place, having started in last place. Las Granjas. 1st place. What on earth was going on? Almost everyone else was in stock Jimmys apart from one player who had a C600 Jimmy. Festival Cross Country. 3rd. One of the stock Jimmys seems to have had some ginger shoved up its exhaust pipe, although as I said above, I think my Scout was set up for dirt racing.

And then it was onto the Trial. 2016 Mazda MX-5. 3rd round Plaza Circuit and a team win. Some of my driving was a bit ropey, and aero might’ve helped. 2nd round Los Jardines after starting in last place. Team loss… Well, that’s what the numbers said because we were 200pts behind the drivatars. Instead, the game decided it should be a team win. Job done.

Time to do Supersonic Spiral as the HW PR stunt yet again. Managed to one-shot it in the Murciélago for an SWS that was two-thirds good.

As has been the theme in this series, the PR stunt car was the car for the seasonal, but for It’s Race-a-Bull, I considered my options rather than reuse the Murciélago. It was tempting, but my Diablo SV had an even better PWR, and I only had to put some heavier rims on to get it into S1 class. I walked all over the drivatars even round Dragon’s Fall, where the drivatars can have the speed of the X-15 rocket plane. That was my third 2017 Alfa Romeo Giulia.

Being a lazy old git, I used the 2018 Mustang GT to do the RA PR stunt because it was ready to go. I one-shotted the speed trap uphill without even trying. One-third very good SWS.

I used the same car in Mustang Rally. Scrappy driving because I kept sending myself too fast into corners. I won some item of clothing which, I suspect, I acquired long ago.

Yes, I’ve had a jolly good play with the Porsche 911 RSR. Once again, this is a car which is good to drive out of the box, although I did do a little upgrading such as wider rear tyres to counter the car’s slight tendency to wave its botty about. But even with minimal aero, the car was decently grippy.

We wave a sad farewell to Series 33, which is one of the better ones. Finally, there are the sort of cars I want in the game even if they are in the wrong general category. If you think about it, the game contains classic racers and rally cars that are just that, which are racing cars and not, as I’ve said before, the dull sort of cars your mum, dad, aunts, uncles, nans and granddads drive, pretending to be the race-specced versions of dreary dailies.

Series 34

The initial graphic for the live stream was the motorway looking horrifically resplendent in a tacky 8-bit, neon colour scheme, but more recently, we’ve had an image with the Lotus Esprit (which I must try in FH4). My guess is a.) cars from the 80s (and perhaps 90s); b.) modern cars with retro styling (e.g. Morgan, Singer Porsche, GW Porsche); c.) the anniversary edition of the Lamborghini Countach and that anniversary Porsche. Another car pack as well? Let me speculate in an even more idle fashion. What 80s cars are in FM8, but not in FH5 for which we could pay so as to fund that game? [Sir, th’art such a cynic. –ed.]

Anyway, I’ll know tomorrow morning what’s going to be in the new series.