FH5, Series 34, Week 2

I recall the end of that May as if it was 35 years ago, which it was back in 2024. Terrible weather. Leaden skies threatening rain and occasionally delivering the goods from its gruesome maw. But in particular, I recall it was one of those weeks in Horizon 5 when the Festival playlist didn’t include a treasure hunt. I’m not sure I’ve ever recovered from the trauma.

I started with the weekly in the old Countach, which I’ve been driving a fair amount. The weekly was a bit grindy, but otherwise all right. I filled in some of my pointless 8km by doing Copper Canyon.

I’d already been practising the PR stunts, hence I knew a stock Sián could be upgraded to S1 900 and would have no problem with the speed trap (utter rubbish SWS) or the speed zone (403kmh; better than my practice run) with its one-third good SWS. I’d also tried my Diablo SV on the speed trap. Yes, it could’ve done, but only just.

I took the photo as I flew off the jump outside the hotel. I got a helmet. This reminds me that there are Minecraft helmets in the game which reminds me that I downloaded some map for the game’s 15th anniversary, but haven’t bothered having a look at it. What a sad wee man I am.

I broke the collectibles in Dunas Blancas, but got no acknowledgement that I’d completed the task. I suppose there must be some people who are excited by the addition of a horn to the game.

Eventlab (1). Horizon Dubai Old Town is a great setting for a race, but I’m less enamoured of the route itself, especially the split from right one way to left the other. Overall, a less vexatious layout than some of the spaghetti-fests we’ve had to endure.

Eventlab (2). Rally Cross Island. S1 900 rally monsters. Serve with a small helping of “Oh dear”. Probably better with A- or B-class cars as I kept sliding into walls. Not that much fun.

I did Horizon Open in my 1988 BMW M5. It was another demonstration of just how broken online racing is. I got in on the Volcán Sprint, which was the last race. You know what the course is like, but the winner, who charged off into the distance, was in some enormous off-roader which should’ve had bugger all handling.

I stayed in the 1988 M5 for Sunset Drive. More Street Scene races, which varied between good and annoying. The car was probably not the best choice. I was also irked by the forced change to my radio station.

For Sand Scorpion I picked the CJ5 Renegade, which mostly trounced the drivatars except for an annoying 2021 Bronco in Ribera Rocosa. All three races were ones in which the drivatars can be impossible nuisances to defeat.

I jumped into my BMW 850CSi for Silvia Surfer. Yes, I know I haven’t had a high opinion of the car, but I rebuilt it into A class (and in Horizon 4 as well), and found that it was really good to race. I don’t know why one of the races was that tedious stadium oval. I feared the Volcán Sprint would be dark and wet, but PGG went with dark.

With the three seasonals out of the way, I did the Trial. I chose the 1995 Porsche 911 GT2 to win the 1995 Porsche 911 GT2. I’d been testing various cars and ended with the GT2. I managed 4th place in Reservorio because there was a three-way drag race for the line for 3rd, and I just managed to steal 4th. Emerald did not go well. The drivatars did their usual deranged weaving round the back of the hill, which caused major issues. I broadsided at least two other cars and got chucked at a wall. As a result, I ended up in 9th. The player ahead of me missed a checkpoint, and from pushing the car too hard as I tried to pass a couple of drivatars, I also missed a checkpoint. I quit and restarted. This time in Reservorio, I managed a 5th with a solid team win. I was on the front row for Emerald and missed the carnage, but there does seem to have been carnage. I managed to win the race, and two players who’d ended up at the back quit, thus giving us a team win overall.

The HW PR stunt was a pain. It seems the car most likely to succeed was the TVR Cerbera (power). I have an S1-class Cerbera, although I seem to have built it for dirt racing (I was probably experimenting since I otherwise disapprove of cars being used in the wrong sorts of races). I adjusted the tuning a little, and after a couple of attempts just managed to pass the target distance.

I went for the Elise GT1 for Chevy Set Go. It all went well and I won a crappy old brick. I don’t remember the 80s being so aesthetically retarded.

The RA PR stunt was trickier to land than it was to execute in my Audi Quattro. As I said in an earlier post, you drive along the left-hand side of the riverbed. On my first attempt the car went arse-over-tit, but on the second, I managed to land it. Rubbish SWS.

I went ironic for Ren-over and Out by racing in the Renault 5 Turbo to win the Renault 5 Turbo. The seasonal was one road race and two dirt races, but I couldn’t be bothered rebuilding the car for road racing. Once again, this old favourite of mine proved itself.

I had to try the new BMW M635CSi partly to compare it to the 850CSi. 1/9 for tuning (pathetic) and the 150% race bonus perk. I built it into A class and did a few races. I tried it with reduced aero, but after one race, felt it was better to increase the down force. Anyway, the car is quick and manoeuvrable. Definitely a good copy-and-paste from FH3.