Occasional Tales

Because I’m so important, the treasure hunt completed itself for me. Yes, it’s that broken treasure hunt again, which leaves a big red circle on Mulegé, but no reward for doing nothing. With no treasure hunt, I jumped to the weekly in the Ariel Atom, a car which I used to like, but find to be far too light and floaty for my tastes. I one-shotted all the PR stunts and was uniformly rewarded with complete and utter rubbish. I also did 50 Years of Porsche in the 2023 911 Turbo S to win a second 911 Turbo S. Some crappy driving on my part, but I’m very much out of practice with AWD cars. I got a fairly easy wreckage skills HA, although I wish the game would register everything you destroy rather than counting one thing and ignoring the next five before counting something else. I tried the HW PR stunt in the Czinger, but needed the F40 Competizione to get the job done. For the second (?) time ever, the SWS was two-thirds good and one-third very good, which compensated for the rubbish I’d p...

Treasure hunt. Burnout near start to the test track, with the treasure chest in Playa Azul. ¶ Should treasure hunts remain in FH6? I think the problem is with the whole economy of the Forzathon Shop, where the money is rare, and initially difficult to acquire, which can be frustrating when the car may be one that probably won’t become available for a long time afterwards. The treasure hunt is a nice early-game boost, but if you play the game long enough, you’re only doing it for the playlist (and #ForcedEngagement). The weekly challenge put me in the Lotus Exige S for the first time in ages. The challenges were the usual straightforward sort of thing. Move along, nothing to see here. I must go back to the Exige and see what I can do with it. Eventlab (1). Woodsman’s Wonderland . B700 retro rally. (Not again.) Marks off for an overlapping layout on the mini-map. A lot of marks off for a hairpin that vanishes into the background because it’s impossible to see where the turn actually is. ...

The treasure hunt seems to be a matter of doing the stadium circuit inside the track, not starting from outside. The treasure is up near the tunnel to the bridge. I needed it because 130,000+ FPs is utter penury these days. We got the Bentley Turbo R and the Bentayga as gifts. Some players might think we’re being rewarded for our loyalty to the brand. Others might think we’ve got landed with two more chubby paperweights. The weekly in the KTM X-Bow wasn’t worth commenting about. Make up your own comments. “I liked the bit when the car stopped, and the driver got out, and it was a sexy lady in a bikini made of seat material from the Bentley Turbo R.” Eventlab (1). The Mayan Discovery . O hairy-testicled gods, why have ye inflicted this ghastly thing on us again? Eventlab (2). Royal Palms International . Decent layout (barring a couple of overly tight corners) and length, good use of props, sodding awful road surface (which can’t be blamed on the creator). The SWS was one-third excellent...

No treasure hunt again and these days 130,000 FPs or so just doesn’t feel sufficient. What are you trying to do to me, game? Turn me into some pauper? I’ve a good mind to take you out the back of the chemical sheds and thrash you with a soft pair of lady’s undies. However, lady’s knickers aside, I started with the weekly in the 1994 Mazda MX-5 Miata which cause no real problems because I almost certainly used the very car that I used on the previous occasion. Rivals in the 2023 911 GT3 RS was a doddle. I dislike the Porsche Dakar (remember, kids, it’s pronounced “Rallye”), but survived in spite of its slidey ways. Another week with a single Eventlab race. Forza: Warthog Rally is a Halo-themed map, although it’s the only Eventlab race in which I’ve ever seen these props used. It sort of resembles Copper Canyon Cross Country . PR stunts. I one-shotted the TB somehow even though I haven’t done it in ages and took a slightly off line. Rubbish SWS. I also one-shotted the SZ on dirt without...

I started with the weekly in the 2003 VW Golf. I was all right for the events apart from the jump, and as I didn’t want to rebuild my B-class Golf, I bought a new one for that and the speed skills. I got a horn for taking a photo of the 2003 BMW M5 on the bridge. Now I can be as irritating as all the annoying 12-year-olds who insist on blasting me with their stupid horns in races or outside of them. [ You don’t need a horn to be irritating . –ed.] I one-shotted the DZ in my BMW X6 and got a one-third very good SWS. I thought the TB in the crappy old Beetle might be a pain, but I also managed to one-shot it. The strategy is to head towards the road to the right and then go across the sand which is sparsely covered with plants. Rubbish SWS. The ST took a couple of goes because I needed to lower the aero settings on the car. One-third good SWS. Eventlab. VW Rally . Well, half true because about half the circuit is tarmac. Quite a good use of the German flag throughout the course as a deco...