Occasional Tales

Or robot overlords. One of the big ideas this year is to start using a system called Engrαδэ to record things such as attendance and results. I’ve been keeping records of both for some time now, but this is going to take things to a whole new level. No doubt, in the official literature, Engrαδэ is some highly valuable pedagogical tool, but the impression I got about it at the presentation was that it’s a stick with which to beat students. Some people might quite like that idea, but I think it’s also a stick with which we teachers unwittingly beat ourselves because we’re now going to to be giving students tests on a weekly basis; and homework. Why? What’s the point of tests every week? What am I meant to test them on? How is that going to make the slightest difference? How am I going to devise a test which isn’t trivial time-filler?  How are the tests going to be valid if proper test conditions cannot be established in a classroom? What’s the point if each test ...

And we’re back slightly early. It all resumed with the conference last weekend, which was fairly similar to last year’s conference right down to the option events for the old lags to attend. Time for something new. This year’s big ideas are to impose the philosophy on the InterBac programme beyond its native bounds, and to dole out more homework. The former will soon be forgotten where it doesn’t really belong, and the latter seems to be little more than the sinofication [sic!] of the programme. It reminds me of the old mantra, “Reading is important. Students must do more reading. Writing is important. Students must do more writing. Etc., etc… Everything is important. Students must do more every­thing.” The day is long enough, and our students have TOEFL, SATs, piano practice, and numerous other after-school activities to squeeze into their overfull days. Sometimes homework is necessary, but I’d rather not give it for the sake of giving it. We’ve been back at school this wee...

Sic transit alius annus. Although the past two weeks have dragged to some extent, this term and, indeed the whole year, seems to have swept by with indecent haste. This term may have been a little shorter, but it vanished faster than a well-greased fox down a rabbit hole. We got our new timetables today. I’m mostly teaching the Little Gods on Earth (i.e., the same classes I’ve had this year) as well as one InterBac  HL class and one Ass HL class. I’ve inherited the former from Mr Foucault and have no idea what the composition of the latter will be. Someone seems to have a sense of humour because Ms Giggles has landed the few sensible dimwits who opted to do SL English next year. If that class has some of the usual suspects, then she’s going to have her work cut out for her. Unfortunately, I may be no better off because I suspect my HL class is likely to be sporting a few numbskulls who should be in the SL class. The new boy and I will be teaching the Ass HL classes. ...

Suspicious English. I gave the Ass classes their writing exam last week. Quite a few of the nitwits have lost marks for not re­pro­ducing the features of the text type. I wanted a title (preferably catchy), a short opening paragraph (also catchy), and a Q&A section, which would constitute the bulk of the interview. I didn't get that even although I told them more than once what they should’ve done. It seems that some of the little darlings had been talking to the InterBac students because several of them gave me the embedded interview text type which I never mentioned. So not too many points for format. One of the students in Ass β wrote something which seemed suspiciously good, but having managed to run it through turnitin (there were technical difficulties), it was found to be 100% original. I’m so used to students’ writing being a plethora of unnatural English that some piece of writing which demonstrates easy competence with idiomatic English comes as a surprise....

They wish it was all over. It isn’t yet. Once again term limps slowly to the finish line as we continue our busy schedule of babysitting – when there’s anyone to babysit. The new timetable started this week, and since Medb volunteered to take the pre-AL classes, I had nothing on Monday and Tuesday which were, in fact, holidays for the rest of the country, viz. the Dragon Boat Festival. The Ass classes were having the last of their exams. But it’s far from being all over for me because the Ass classes still have the writing exam to do on Friday, which means I’m going to have three hours of invigilating on Friday morning with a short break in between the two sessions. My plans for the exam had to be adjusted because the Little Gods on Earth (LGEs) are having their “graduation” on Friday afternoon, which meant that Ass β, whose double is normally split by lunch, will be boring me for a solid hour and a half. I’m predicting that I’ll go into that class early and find that a ...

No, you’re not. You’re self-deluding. I’ve seen the numbers of HL and SL students for next year, and they don’t make for encouraging reading. 77% of the pre-AL students have opted for HL, which means that there are going to be quite a number who shouldn’t be doing HL at all and will struggle to cope. HL students have to read two works of English lit. and do more in the externally assessed exams, but only have the same amount of time as the SL students. Mr Looms suggested that the counsellors are to blame, which might be true, but why would students be going to them about it? I told the little darlings that if they’re likely to get an A or B in the exam, they should consider HL, but as usual there seem to be some self-deluding nitwits. (There were some such idiots this year, but the general criterion for determining the choice seems to have been laziness. A number of [lazy] students who should’ve done HL have been doing SL instead. It appears that this trend has probably not ...

Looms and Giggles. Is it just us or does every school in the programme attract at least one weird (EFL) teacher who is not wanted elsewhere? This year it’s been Mr Looms whose previous school seemed to be glad to see the back of him, and whose absences finished him off here. Now we have Ms. Giggles coming as one of the new teachers. Again, she’s already at another school in the programme and, from what I’ve heard, they want to get rid of her while retaining the other two English teachers. At the weekend (about which more briefly in a moment) Ms. Giggles managed to annoy Mr Foucault (which is quite a feat). Today in the office (she’s here dealing with her visa) she managed to annoy Mr Looms (which is also a feat), and also annoyed Ms. B (which isn’t much of a feat). So far, so not good. [ 30.08.14. By the end of the year, I could tolerate Mr Looms, but a year of Ms. Giggles has not endeared her to me or anyone else; 08.06.15. Two years later and she’s still a colossal p...