FH5, Series 32, preview

Unlike prominent YouTubers who are obliged to declaim how marvy [sic] splendid each new FH5 update is, I’m not constrained to keep PGG happy by making similar declarations. The past two series have been a shrug. The car packs have been a partial to complete shrug.

Series 32, on the other hand, seems to mostly be heading back in the right direction. The series cars are repeat screenings. The Acceleration Car Pack cars are a bit above middling in my view, although I wonder whether the drivatars are going to massacre everyone in the Supervan 4 as they do in the Supervan 3. Nice to see Ginetta arrive in the game.

The seasonal reward cars are mostly one good, one shrug, but that reflects my comparative indifference to off-road racing.

Week 1, we get the Artura which as I suspected, is the new 570S (watch the car masteries and the stock tuning settings be the same as the 570S’s).

In week 2, the 2020 Audi TT falls into the same category as the VW Golfs we’ve got over the past six months or so. They all look the same and differ by the thickness of an incorporeal razor blade. Well, I can always drive round the map pretending to a hairdresser. Again, is this going to end up being a drivatar cheatmobile like the other Audi TTs?

In week 3, The 2003 Ford “Mustang” seems to have the fanboys touching themselves inappropriately in public. I don’t understand why anyone would get so overexcited about another dull “Mustang” from that period as they look like they were designed by accountants.

I have no idea how the Jaguar F-Type SVR in week 4 quite differs from the ordinary F-Type, but I really don’t keep up with this stuff.

As for the off-roaders, there’s nothing new.

The other two series cars are the 2024 Mustang (but not the Dark Horse; prediction – you’ll be able to nominally turn it into a Dark Horse with an engine swap) and some Ford Raptor. Ford must be doing some advertising, I guess. Don’t get me wrong about the Raptor, though. The 2019 model is pretty decent even if it isn’t really my thing.

The way we’re going to unlock these cars is by doing various relevant races. Excuse me while I paint on my cynical face… And there we go – the cynicalest [sic!] boy in the school. What’s PGG’s ulterior motive here? I’m not condemning the way they’d have us unlock the cars, which is just like Christmas. (Aside: Is this an Easter thing?) Anyway, I suspect that this is to do with forced engagement, which is probably aimed at the game pass kiddies, although I can pass through a week or two merely dining out on the daily and doing little else that’s nothing to do with the Festival playlist because I’ve no motivation to do much else.

Last week, for example, I did the new C- and D-class Rivals events in Sierra Nueva (where I was and may still be in the top hundred in the world; my best ranking was 26th, but with so few players on the leaderboards I was, say, only in the top 67% for my efforts). This led me to the remaining Rivals accolades, which kept me occupied. For the rest of this season and the new one my motivation is down again, but we’re doing mocks at the moment, and the tiring, tedious boredom of invigilating saps my will to do anything much. Oh, and there’s marking afterwards. Gods! How wicked have I been to be chastised in such a fashion? But the point is that I had something to do last week.

The update comes out on the 26th, which in my part of the world, has 6½ hours left to go, but as usual, the Americans must have the new toys first even though that makes PGG’s largesse a day late for everyone else. But I will have something to do – get snaps of the new cars; or try.

Finally, Series 33, Horizon Apex. The name alone sounds promising. I wonder whether it promises the Maserati MC20.