FH5, Series 34, Week 3

Another week and no treasure hunt. Will you people show no mercy? How many puppies and kittens must I sacrifice in dark rites? How many widows and orphans must I cast into the snow to appease PGG?

The weekly in the Ferrari F355 was a doddle. No problems.

Once again, I’d practised the PR stunts and knew that the 1980 Countach could smash both without any issues. I didn’t quite beat my best practice time for the trailblazer, but it wasn’t one of those occasions when I randomly complete the task after 37 horribly disastrous minutes and 370 horribly disastrous tries.

Eventlab (1). Aztec My Chances. I opted for the Nissan Fairlady because I thought this might be a dirt track. The main problem was the scale, which felt a little too small. The layout was all right, but the overall track was too compact.

Eventlab (2). Le Capitaine. Again, expected dirt, didn’t get dirt. The Renault 5 Turbo did a decent job. The layout wasn’t, I thought, terrible, but scaling in the technical sections felt a little off.

I took a piccie. I got a horn. Honk, honk. The sexual tension is inedible. [Huh? –ed.]

The Eliminator. Usual strategy. I even managed to get a decent car. I managed to crash into a tree. Once again, my incompetence was neither here nor there as my job was done.

It was another week for irony as I used the 1971 Nissan Skyline to win the 1971 Nissan Skyline in 2000 and Late. Perhaps not the best choice of car on stock tyres, but it was C600. I wonder whether the BMW 2002 Turbo might’ve been a better choice.

I picked the 1995 Audi RS2 for DTM Ready because it’s innately AWD. It felt a bit chunky, but was mostly all right apart from when a Volvo 850 was being a pest in Cascada. The reward was the MB 190 E. No, not one of the better MBs from that era. The estate car’s good, and the Hammer is tolerable, and the newish 500E (I think) is all right.

I did the showcase remix, making it as easy for myself as possible. Why don’t they just give us the horn and spare us the bollocks?

I did the Trial in my 1991 BMW M3 having done a couple of builds and a couple of test runs round Cathedral Circuit. The better choice seemed to be slick tyres (but next to no other upgrades) because my second practice was 13 seconds faster. I started in last place round Cathedral and finished in second, although the player in first had handling problems round corners. Solid team support and a victory for humanity. Round Bola Ocho, the same sort of thing, but I won. I’m not sure whether the player in first let me take the position or quite what, but I wasn’t trying for an overtake. Humanity, thousands of points; drivatars 0. I think that’s the first time that that’s happened. Again, another week in a random team that worked like a team.

I one-shotted the HW PR stunt in the Diablo SV.

The Ford GT was probably not my best choice for Holden Oldies, but I stuck with it. It was clear that the Diablo SV was the car we were really supposed to use, but it’s all power and no handling.

I can’t be bothered with the RA PR stunt as this is the most annoying drift zone in the game. It’s the one drift zone where you have to score points along its entire length. My PB isn’t too bad, but if I remember rightly, it was painfully and incompetently achieved. I did manage a casual 106,000 in the FE Ford Puma, but I refuse to waste vast amounts of time which will merely result in rage, fury, and frustration.

Apex Evolution was road racing in rally monsters. I stuck with the FE Puma, but note that the drivatars still get to use the Renault 5 Turbo, which was a rally monster in FH4, but no longer. Unfair.