Occasional Tales

I thought we had another faulty weekly because the light-grey Hoonigan Mustang didn’t initially trigger the event. I did Highland Climb for the Street Scene race, but with care and got a pathetic wheel spin afterwards. That took me to a spot just outside Guanajuato, where I quickly found a taco cart to smash, and the drifting after that was no problem. I one-shotted the drift zone in the Hoonicorn while I was doing the weekly. A pitiful exhibition of drifting, but it worked. I PB’ed the speed trap the other day when I was practising, but this took me a couple of attempts in my low S2-class International Scout. One-third good SWS. One-shotted the danger sign for a lame SWS. Thanks, game. Eventlab (1). Cordillera Lapras . I liked this as an intermediate-length scramble. Went with the Escort RS1600. Eventlab (2) Mangrove Rallycross . Night – no. Layout – ugh. Props – good unless there were awkward jumps ahead of corners. Another pathetic SWS. One-shotted the HW PR stunt in the Jesko (obv...

I had to switch to the Fiat Abarth 131 to complete the treasure hunt. The Desert Flyer was too underpowered to fling about the place. The weekly passed through my life without leaving a scar. I did the air skills by going back and forth over the same ridge not far from the main festival site. One-shotted the danger sign (one-third good SWS), but the speed zone took a couple of attempts in that FE Nissan. Another one-third good SWS. I PB’ed the Trailblazer (which we only did last week or sometime recently) by doing the usual thing of an oblique entry to follow the road rather than barge my way ineptly through the trees. The SWS ended up being one-third very good and one-third excellent. Eventlab (1). Don Joe Won Song’s Utopia Gardens Recension . Top-quality use of props, but I did exactly what I did the last time, crashing into the barrier in the beach section (twice) because of the lack of any visual indicators as to the route. Eventlab (2) was Castillo Scramble . Judicious use of prop...

For the treasure hunt I three-starred a speed trap in my Cerbera, which is mad as a bag of hammers, and got rewarded, although not for driving a car that’s utterly certifiable. The treasure’s over in Teotihuacán, but there’s no need to crash into any of Mexico’s ancient monuments. Fast travel. Completing the weekly challenge also got me the McLaren F1. Third one, I think. No, there’s nothing much to say about the weekly challenge. I one-shotted the danger sign in the F40 Competizione, managing to not botch the landing one way or another. One-third very good SWS. With some gentle cornering, I one-shotted the speed trap as well. The SWS was rubbish, which started a theme. I expected the speed zone to be a pain and it was. I wish I could say something helpful about doing it, but in the end I think the Forza gods got bored and let me complete it. I did switch to the M-Sport Fiesta for it. The SWS was absolutely awful. Eventlab (1). Cannonball Raceway suffered from that awful road surface ...

The patch actually worked this time. I raced a track toy round Mulegé to do the treasure hunt. I’d only just recently been racing such cars on that circuit and had a custom race to use. What I’d forgotten is that the creator thought that a light smattering of traffic would add to the fun. It wasn’t bothersome, but not welcome either. The treasure was over at the airfield in a hangar. The weekly in the Ultima was a bit of a pain because to complete the upgrades part of the challenge, I had to buy three sets of tyres. I have two of these things; at least I didn’t have to buy a third one. The danger sign was a pain, but I expected no less. I did my run from the corner on Lookout Circuit , which was sufficient. I was sailing through the air for the right distance and either landing on the rocks on the right-hand side of the road or going nose first into the road and failing the jump until as usual, the Forza gods allowed me to complete the stunt. It’s no great feat to guess that the SWS w...

Having seen another player’s somewhat ropey performance in the GMC Syclone in the Trial this week, I thought I’d try it myself. The Syclone starts in mid C class, which gives it a decent amount of scope for building with tuneable components. I managed to get it to a PWR of 0.300 (weight down to 1,312kg). I was on the second row of the grid for Panorámica. Most of the other players – apart from one, I think – were prestige something. I was aware of the likelihood of chaos at the start of the race, but managed to do my usual magic on the corners and finish in 2nd. I couldn’t quite catch Teagan. I was last on the grid on Plaza Circuit, but used the usual mess on the first turn and what follows to pass most of the field and take 1st place. By the time the race finished, I was 15 seconds ahead of 2nd place. The rest of humanity (mostly) ended up in a solid block, enabling a team win. I could see one player sitting it out, waiting for the rest of us to do the heavy lifting. I’d say the Syclo...

May the farce be with you. I wasn’t surprised to find that the patch that was supposed to fix the problem with playlist points not being awarded last week was waiting to be installed. I launched the game, made some adjustments to my 2015 Corvette for the weekly, and left my house. I was about to check my messages when the game went CTD. I didn’t think much about it because the game does this from time to time, but when I started the game again, it crashed a second time as it went through the prefatory waffle. I went to the forums to see whether this was An Issue™, and found that the matter had already got 101 votes. By lunchtime my time, a second patch had been dispatched, reversing the deleterious effects of the first one, and I was able to play the game, albeit with the same glitch as last week. In my case, it doesn’t matter, but it’ll be annoying for a lot of other players. I assume that the game got confused if players had already done this season previously because some flag neede...

I’m still here, but I oughtn’t to be. I started with the PR stunts this week. Muffed my first attempt on the danger sign in the Jesko, but got a two-thirds good SWS from the second attempt. I one-shotted the speed trap and got a one-third good SWS. The speed zone was a sodding pain in the arse. I tried with the Jesko even though I knew it’d be way to fast to be any good. I tried the F40 Competizione without any success and eventually completed the task in the Koenigsegg CCGT. I blasted my way through Rivals. Normally I’m a bit cautious because I don’t usually need to worry about not defeating my opponent, but today it was all pedal to the metal even in the Mission R. The photo was where the wheels started to fall off this week’s shopping trolley. I took a pic of the 812 Superfast outside Buenas Vistas, but later found that the tile was still live. I took the picture again, completed the job, but think I got no points. The treasure hunt also proved to be faulty. I got five near miss ski...

Well, I was wrong about the cars. It seems that the Noble M600 will not be series or seasonal reward car in Series 44. Like recent series, the Backstage Pass remains the 80% reward, but I’m pretty sure that the only car I don’t have more than one of in the new list is the Koenigsegg Agera RS (but the reward is going to be the Agera; I believe I have two already). As for the rest, I have at least two of each. (Aside: I’ve just learnt that the 2012 BMW M5 is in the Autoshow; I must confess that it’s a feature of the game I either ignore or use as a classification system.) I now find that Max had posted lists of new series cars on the forums, but I missed that… because the list (which I found earlier this morning) was buried in the thread. Are the missing cars going to be part of the Backstage Pass vote? Or will they be in the Forzathon shop? Or will players have to wait for their random inclusion in revised future series? What will they do if the Extreme E series turns up because that wa...

I started the week with the weekly challenge in the ugly 1993 Ford SVT Cobra, a car that wouldn’t have looked sexy and desirable even back in the 90s. I’d seen there were problems with painting the body of the car, but, it seems, the dot on the tile wasn’t turning yellow to indicate completion, while the text at the bottom said the task had been completed. I did the race and the weekly was done. I went to the Street Scene Festival site and smashed some cubes, which got me the 80% series car. PR stunts. In the Cobra again, but this time C600. I one-shotted the danger sign and managed to front flip on landing. The SWS was one-third very good and two-thirds good, a most unusual outcome. It took a lot of attempts to do the Trailblazer. I know the best strategy, which is to head through the gate at a shallow angle, swing right through the trees (if you don’t go right enough, you’ll get savaged by the game’s feral logs), follow the road, and cut corners. I still have a theory that there’s a ...

I was looking for some videos on my old laptop at school yesterday when I came across a video of me playing Most Wanted (2005). I think I was probably testing the game bar to record a video about six years ago (?) when I had that game installed just before I bought Horizon 4. I see that Ericship111 posted a video about FH5 ending too soon. Ending? Another matter. The video I found had me wondering why I played MW (2005) so much even though it had no Festival playlist, the roster of cars was minute, and nothing new was ever added to the game. The game has some progression (which – little reminder – can’t go on forever) in that you did events to unlock new parts of Fairhaven and to challenge rivals on the Black List before dealing with Sergeant Cross and the Corvette Squad. What made the game replayable for me was the police pursuits even though I reached a point where I knew all the tactics to evade them or boost my score because Sergeant Cross would sit behind me in the docks just out ...

Treasure hunt. I did a figure-8 round the crates at the Street Scene outpost. No drifting required. The treasure is not far from the stadium to the south-west. I think I have about 69,000 FPs. Nothing to spend them on, not even Backstage Passes. The weekly in the 2016 CTS-V passed without any issues, although some players may need to buy a new one to spend the credits to get it into S1 class. As I had a second, unused one, that wasn’t a problem. Eventlab, Chemical Plant . Totalitarian use of props. Points off for a night race and a terrible circuit. Points on for at least restricting the race to C-class hot hatches. PR stunts. I added front aero and heavier rims to get the CTS-V to the top of S1 class. The danger sign was a nuisance because on my first attempt I got the distance, but landed on a rock. Got it on the second attempt by aiming slightly to the left. Start from the Lookout Circuit turn (I’ve decided that a long run-up doesn’t really help, especially on that deceptive right-...

Treasure hunt. Burn some rubber, skid or something like that out at the airfield. The treasure chest is near the start of the San Juan Scramble. The weekly in the 1965 Pontiac GTO was uneventful. On the other hand, a D-class 1965 Pontiac GTO was a pain i’ th’ arse because the car had sod-all handling when I was attempting the Mulegé danger sign on stock tyres. Three tries for a one-third good SWS. I one-shotted the speed trap on the bridge by approaching it from the Ek’ Balam side and using the pavement inside the tunnel to help. Rubbish SWS. Then it was time for a pic. I got a scarf. It’s years since I’ve acquired a new scarf. Now there’s something FH6 should have – a clothing editor. I must suggest this at once. Eventlab, Rally of the Ancient Ruins , was actually a good idea, incorporating deliberately or otherwise, parts of Teotihuacán and other dirt races. I forgot that this was Rivals week. Granjas de Tapalpa in the 2022 Dodge Challenger Super Stock. Too much power, too fat, iff...

Two new cars and that may be all FH5 is getting. One is the 2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Super Stock which will probably end up being garage filler like the other non-Viper Dodges, and the other is one of those 90s “Mustangs”. The rest will please newer players who are looking to fill holes in their garages. More extended night. Ugh. The night’s already too long and I still don’t understand the point of it. Perhaps in FH6 they could adjust the hours of daylight according to the season. Also, those bloody garish neon lights. Ugh! (but with an exclamation mark). A choice of opening screens is a nice late idea. I’m tempted to opt for the Horizon 4 one, but probably won’t change anything. This looks to be the last series with any new cars because from now on we’ll be voting for one old series or another, although there will be some updates to the playlist such as expansion events with series that predate Hot Wheels or Rally Adventure. Perhaps this is the “new content” to which PGG may be some...

Treasure hunt. Win a race in a track toy. Go to the balcony below the hotel jump. Well, I say “go”, but I flopped in an undignified fashion to get the treasure. I was dreading the weekly in the Ariel Nomad because of the loathsome Hide-and-Seek task at the end of it, but a visit to the forums revealed that the final task never happened, which turned out to be true. When I did the speed zone task, I actually PB’ed one of them. I used the pair not far from the Horizon Tour start area. In spite of failing the Mulegé jump, I actually got credited for the 100m jump. I was going to go drifting for the HA task, but the game has been disconnecting me and only managed to get this done later. Again, my drifting skills, which were never great to begin with, were fairly sus. No sign of wreckage skills as an option. I one-shotted the danger sign and got a one-third very good SWS. Took me a couple of attempts to get the speed zone for a rubbish SWS. I managed to one-shot the trailblazer, although mu...

Treasure hunt. Go to the top of the volcano in an Exocet, they said. Treasure not far away from the nearby telescope. Money in the bank that’ll almost never get spent. I’d already done some practice in the Hoonigan Escort RS 1800 for the weekly challenge. I went with AWD because I felt the car was a bit floaty RWD. I did the drift skills without even trying. I managed to do the speed traps in two somehow. I one-shotted East Resort in the Ferrari F40 Competizione and got an SWS that was one-third good and one-third very good. Green Hills took a few attempts to complete, but I managed it with the tight turn at the end. Rubbish SWS. Trailblazer. One-shotted. Rubbish SWS. Eventlab (1), Ranchero Norte , employed that terrible fake tarmac that cannot be smoothly pieced together. Not a bad basic circuit, but the whole setting felt like it needed more work. I really shouldn’t have bothered because I already have two Hoonigan Escorts. Eventlab (2), The Gulch of Monument Valley . It sounds lik...

Treasure hunt. Near-miss skills on motorway. 300FPs to add to my expanding pile of them. The weekly in the Ultima Evo was a nuisance to begin with because I fiddled about building the car first and then found that you had to spend money on it. I did an engine swap and immediately swapped it back. The drag race was awful, with the car shifting sideways by two lanes during the course of the race. HA. Drifting, which revealed how out of practice I am. I seem to have done most of the work while some other player scrounged off me. I one-shotted all the PR stunts this week and PB’ed the Stadium speed trap. Was variably rewarded as usual. Eventlab (1). El Toro Scramble . This was really just a version of El Pípila . Not a fan of the obstacle course section which is why, I suppose, it was a solo effort. There was one section where it would be easy to sail off to the right instead of keeping left. This is where there needed to be props to block the way, but the decorative elements were mostly j...

We start with the weekly challenge in the ridiculously overpowered Rimac Concept 2. I don’t think I’ve ever actually built the car, but then again, I never actually drive it unless the circumstances force me to. I feared that the sole new car in this series, the Chevrolet C10, might be an undrivable mess in Rivals, but it wasn’t awful. In a similar vein, EV Rivals round Ek’ Balam passed through the history of my life without raising any problems. I took a photo, I got a scarf. I may already have had the scarf. The collectibles task in the stadium was a bit of a pain because some arse of a player, who may already have completed the challenge, was smashing all the dinosaur piñatas, spamming chat with “Ha ha!” and sounding his horn incessantly as if I was going to pay the slightest amount of attention to him. I thought that it didn’t matter whether some other player smashed one of these items, it was only smashed on their screen. This seems not to have been the case because if this littl...