Will I ever have a decent night's sleep again?

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Oh, bugger! 4am again.

I do not sleep well. It takes me ages to get to sleep and if I’m being woken by an alarm clock, I tend to wake up early in anticipation of the alarm going off. Sometimes that can be a little too early.

This week things have got worse. I'm guessing I’ve waking up at about 4am every day this week, and I cannot for the life of me get to sleep again – not properly. I might drift off a little, but the damage has been done. It has become a pernicious habit over which I have no control. Normally, there’s one night, often a Thursday, it seems, when the pattern is broken, but not this week. I hoped I might get through the whole night without waking up too early. No such luck.

It’s no good going to bed sooner, and I don’t want to go to bed later either because of the lead-in time before I actually fall asleep.

I’m also not good at leaping out of bed, either. I need time to make the transition between being half-awake and actually awake. I need to feel that I control the pace of my mornings, which I don’t when I have the alarm clock bleating at me like a persistent sheep. I need to have a long, leisurely start to the day, and eventually, when I feel awake, then I’m ready.

Right, I’d better post this before my Internet assistant fails again. Bloody imperial censorship. It’s now buggering the Guardian as well.

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